Happosai Chronicles
by Zine
Summary: Happy solves Ranma's problems, but with the result of everyone wanting to kill him. Now kami whisks the perverted master off to solve others' problems.


Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, or any of the characters mentioned in this fanfic. I highly recommend you check out the original anime or manga that the creators put out.

---------------

Happosai looked at the angry crowd with wide, sparkling, puppy dog eyes, trying to appeal to their kind hearted side, particularly the side toward to old perverts. "You wouldn't hurt an old man just trying to get by in life with his only joys?"

Akane popped her knuckles one by one, "I don't think so, you freak. This time you've gone to far."

Ukyo flipped her battle spatula out, fists tightening sporatically on the handle, "Ya got that right sugar, cursing Ranma in his - now her cursed form permanently is not something I would wish on anyone."

Cologne and a small army of Amazon warriors rounded up an entire half of the circle, "Although Ranma is still a capable fighter, this travesty against one that the Amazons consider an ally - especially a powerful one that felled the phoenix god Saffron - will not go unanswered. I've called in Japan's Amazon tribe to see to it."

Ryoga barred his fangs, "My sentiments go to Ranma in this case. You may have solved his fiance problems, but this is going to far."

An awesome aura flared behind them, on top of the Nekohaunten restaurant. Everyone gulped when they saw a golden, tinged with red and green aura flare meters into the air. In the center crouched Ranma-chan. "Happosai, I've forgiven you in the past. Now, I have lost my manhood, my chance of knowing my mother as myself without threat of seppuku, my chance of having a family with the one I love. You took that away." Ranma-chan clenched her fists and knodded at the others, "Not only have you wronged me, but those around me that I care for."

Ryoga took the queue and jumped into the air, "Happosai! PREPARE TO DIE!"

---------------

Urd looked at the data screen, a sense of pity for Ranma, but strangely for the old man. A presence manifested itself behind her, she turned around and bowed deeply, "Father! This is unexpected, is there anything I may do to serve you?"

The father smiled, "You may rise, but yes, there is something. I am rather disappointed in the way Happosai, the old one you have been watching, has performed to date. But he did find a rather effective solution to many, especially the one known as Ranma Saotome. His solution will save them many decades of pain, and I know Ranma will be stronger in the end. There are others out there that could use...," the father rubbed his chin, "some distractions to help them end their struggles with less pain. Happosai will be that distraction, and as punishment and reward for his actions, I ask that you utilize him. In particular, program five in the system may help you."

In a blinding flash, the father disappeared with wording etched on the floor, *So it was said, so let it be done.*

Urd knodded, and turned back to the data screen. The situation had progressed wonderfully - depending on who's side you were on.

---------------

Happosai picked himself out of the rubble that was once Tokyo tower. Blood trickled down his forehead. His ki reserves were running low, and although he was able to put Cologne out of the fight temporarily, the Hibiki boy's blast had hit him unguarded from the side.

A rumbling from below hinted him to an attack. Jumping up, Happosai launched a dozen happo-dai-karen bombs.

Ryoga blasted through, fist extended into the air. Around him the bombs reached the end of their fuses and his eyes grew wide, "This is gonna hur-" till the explosion cut him off.

Happosai's eyes glowed with determination, he knew this was a win or lose fight, and the skirmishes up till now were small fry. Ranma was the real opponent.

Spotting the boy-turned-girl cupping her hands back a block away, Happosai recognized this as IT. Landing top the rubble of the tower, Happy redirected all his reserves in one all or nothing ki blast. "PERVERSION SURPRISE!" The pink energy rocketed toward Ranma, threatening to overwhelm her.

Ranma paid no heed, only focusing her emotions between her hands - the depression of the situation presented for the rest of her life - the confidence she had in her skills to beat any opponent - the love for her mother and Akane - the anger at the one known as Happosai - her pride in her abilities - all was focused into one point.

No name could describe the attack, and Ranma only let out a yell at its release, "HAAAA!"

It quickly overpowered Happosai's blast, and swelled forward. Happosai hung his head in defeat as the blast enveloped him.

Miles above, Urd unleashed the spell known only as "Program #5" at the exact moment, tying itself to Happosai and transporting him away to his new task, to be completed in a way only the perverted master could.

Below, the dust settled, with nothing remaining of the top half of the rubble but molten slag. Ranma collapsed, satisfied that justice had been served. In the back of her mind, she also realized her troubles were somehow resolved.

--------------- _Another world, another time..._

Happosai appeared over a shrine, waving his arms, "Whoa!" He plummeted through the roof, and landed rudely on his rear. Holding his head, he shook it - tired from his battle and still drained, but all his physical injuries were missing.

"HEY! Who are you?!" a female voice yelled to his right.

Opening his eyes, he looked up to see a blackhaired beauty in shrine maiden's robes. "Hotcha!"

The young lady blinked, and looked down at the gnome between her breasts, fondling them. Her hand raised to do serious damage in righteous female fury, and it disappeared.

"Lots of pretty ladies! I've died and gone to heaven!"

Miles above, Urd snickered, "Well, that's Happy for ya." She then flew off to find the nearest television set to get back to heaven and monitor the turn of events.

Back in the shrine, Happosai finished jumping from the final girl to the shrine steps. Turning, fully energized and healing quickly from his life-or-death battle, his jaw dropped at what he saw next.

"MARS..."  
"MERCURY..."  
"VENUS..."  
"PLUTO..."  
"MOON..."  
"URANUS..."  
"NEPTUNE..."  
"SATURN...."  
"JUPITOR STAR POWER!"

Happosai spread his arms, "Come to pappa!" He jumped up at the blue short haired beauty, "Hotcha!"

Mercury was about to let off her attack when the disgusting _thing_ latched again onto her assets. She screamed, and tried to punch it off. Happosai flipped around onto her back and groped around between her arms. "Get it off!"

Uranus jumped up and activated her weapon, "Space sword blaster!"

The golden energy arch streamed forward, and Mercury realized the danger of her position. She dived out of the way with the pervert still attached. Happosai jumped off as the explosion rocked the shrine, scaring the crows to take flight. The scouts started to close ranks to encircle their molester. Happosai, still fully charged let off a burst of speed passing by Mars, Jupitor and Venus, and finally latched onto Pluto.

The pervert was amazed at the power these pretty ladies were generating, but this one felt a little bit older than the rest. Looking up into Pluto's face, "Why hello my dear. Its always good to find one with more experience than the average. Mind going trying out some of my collection for me?"

Pluto took the time staff and attempted to bat him off, but he always seemed to latch on in ways that defied gravity. She then noticed that Venus, Jupitor and Mars were just standing there holding their high skirts down. "Get over here and help me!"

Jupitor, as furious as she was, didn't move. "Uhmm... we'd really like to, but we seem to be missing um..."

Happosai held up three pairs of white silky, magically enhanced darlings, "Nonsense, I just simply liberated them for my collection!"

Sailor Moon decided this was a good time to attack while he was busy. "Starlight honeymoon-" Happosai was already upon her, and was loving all the power Sailor Moon radiating off.

The rest of the scouts jumped at Sailor Moon to try and dogpile, and hopefully cause serious pain to the pervert. Happosai leaped up at the last second and onto the shrine roof, now in possesion of several more additions to his collection. Diving over the shrine wall, he quickly lost any persuit that was attempted.

Pluto stood up out of the pile, "Excuse me." Raising her time staff, she disappeared to the time gates. The other scouts spread out in pairs to try to search out their latest enemy, not to mention patrol for attacks by a new enemy that Pluto had just informed them about.

Back at the time gates, she peered into the swirling stream. The threat that she was having previous troubles seeing had solidified in the time stream, "Sailor Galaxia." The element of chaos around her had been overpowered by the new enemy that they had just fought. Searching for the perverted fool, Pluto began to sweat. "Where is he! It's as if the very fabric of reality is warped around him! Even if he can counteract the time gates, I should be able to detect his influence against others. But there is nothing!" Pluto stepped back from the gates.

Her fear only grew when she realized that the pervert had also -successfully- and -without any effort- taken on the entire sailor scout group. "If Galaxia gets ahold of this demon, we are doomed."

--- Meanwhile, back in Juuban. ---

Happosai was skipping along the deserted streets, oblivious to the dangers. Most people by now in the district didn't want to be out this late for fear of youma attacks. "I must stop by and see those pretty ladies more often." He rubbed one of this prized treasures against his cheek. He paused for a moment when he noticed Tokyo Tower standing in the distance, "Wow, that fight with Ranma really was great, to go through six of Tokyo's wards like that. Funny, took them only a few hours to rebuild it." An idea hit him. Jumping to the roof, he dashed for what should have been Nerima along the northern edge of Tokyo's twenty three wards.

"Eeek! Thief!" The feminine screeches behind him were largely ignored, except by two.

"Mars, I think I see something," Jupitor motioned to the north. "That may be him."

Mars clenched her fists and started to run after him, but they slowly started to lag behind as they weren't proficient in roof hopping or as athletically conditioned. They were lost after the first mile, and grudgingly made their way back by train (after transforming back to their civilian outfits).

Happosai arrived in the residential district of Nerima. Taking out his pipe, he wiped it on his sleeve and lit. "Ah, I wonder what old Soun and Genma are up to, I should take them on a training trip considering they weren't able to lay a hand on me during the fight." Turning the street that the dojo was on, he was greeted with the sight of, "Government offices?" A second realization hit, "NO! My collection is gone!"

Adapting to the situation was his specialty (he was grandmaster of Anything Goes afterall), so he shrugged his shoulder and started to head over to one of the schools he passed,"What was it called? Ah yes, TA Private Girls School. Girls locker rooms were always a nice place to bunk out for the night and rebuild."

Several hours later, Happosai was comfortably nestled in the attic above the locker room, meditating in the middle of his silky darlings. He remembered fighting Ranma and the bunch for his life, and then poof, he was dropped in the middle of nine pretty ladies - magically enhanced too boot. He didn't have any connections here, no stash of borrowed Amazon trinkets to get him back, so he'd have to probably just stick around and make due.

Thinking back to Ranma, Happosai's aura flared briefly, "That engrate." Ranma was the heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, but hadn't been awarded that title as of his departure and probably never with them separated across worlds. That still left the aging master to finding a new heir for his school of martial arts - he wasn't getting any younger.

Breathing out, he slipped out of his meditation. He now had his mind made up on what to do. One, find a more permanent place to keep his treasures. Two, find a heir to train and help replenish said treasures. And finally, go below to take care of business.

Lifting up one of the ceiling tiles slightly, he took in the situation. There were several girls in various stages of changing to their gym clothes. Happosai smiled when he caught sight of the blackhaired beauty that just walked in.... wait! That aura!

A minute earlier - Rei was tired, she had only gotten four hours of sleep due to their meeting and its aftermath. She went in through the locker room door to change for her first class.

"Mars baby!"

The voice pierced through her revery like someone drawing a rake across a chalkboard, not to mention her chest having this pinching sensation that didn't exactly feel... "YOU!" Rei's red battle aura glimmered around her.

"My, spunky one at that!" Happosai jumped off and waved something in the air, a brazier. "Mind changing into that lovely outfit you were in last night?" Happosai gave her his best puppydog eyes look.

The rest of the girls in the locker room noticed the old man, "Eeek! Pervert!"

Happosai turned, and was greeted by a dozen girls brandishing bats, brooms, or anything else that was laying in the janitor's closet. Rei took the opportunity to dive at him from behind. The rest of the girls charged forward and fell in a pile when Happosai dodged up and rebounded off the wall through the doorway that Rei just came through. His laugh echoed in the hallway, "Come and get me Mars baby!"

Rei dusted herself off and ran out into the hallway. The old man was amazing in his speed and the efficiency he was able to grope over twenty girls in the course of less than half a minute. Her anger grew even more, and she ran outside. The school yard was deserted, but she still ran behind some trees to safeguard her identity as Sailor Mars. "Mars star power, make up!"

The power enveloped her body, rings of fire transforming her into the firey fighter for justice and love. Striking a pose, she vowed to extract vengence on the scout's new enemy.

Clapping was heard behind her. Turning, her eyes grew with surprise, and inside the feeling of dread also grew.

"Nice show Mars! You make this old man proud," Happosai jumped down from the tree limb. Smoking his pipe, "Say, mind if we work out a deal?"

Mars narrowed her eyes, "I don't make deals with demons."

Blowing a smoke ring out, he shook his head, "No my dear, and wrong again on the demon part. I'm just an old man getting by. Now listen, this might be beneficial to you. I'm in a little bit of a bind and," he motioned toward her with his free hand, "so are you. I know your identity, and I need a place to stay. You have that lovely shrine, what do you say?"

Mars' mind was realing, "How dare you! I'll destroy you first." Crossing her arms for her attack, "Mars soul..." She was broken out her concentration when she felt a sharp breeze and a draft up her skirt.

Happosai stuffed the fabric in his gi, "Thanks for the gift, but you know I'm too much for you dear. So, how about it?"

Mars glared at him while trying to preserve some sense of modesty keeping the skirt pressed low. An idea then manifested itself, "Ok, you win, but no funny stuff for the rest of the day, alright?"

Happosai lip trembled, "But... but.. and old man needs some fun in his old age."

"I said no, take it or leave it."

His shoulders slumped, and he turned to walk away, "Alright, you win." Perking up, "I'll see ya back at the shrine Mars baby! Laters!" He bounded over the school roof, further amazing Mars to the physical feat that was nearly impossible for the sailor scouts.

She transformed back to her civilian outfit (minus a critical undergarment), and rubbed her hands. "I'll see you there alright, along with a party of a few friends." Whipping out the scout communicator, "Hey, Ami, guess what I found! We need to round everyone up for tonight." **  
**

**------------------------**

"Now, to find an heir..." He jumped from roof to roof with a large bag full of the latest finds. "Without Ranma bothering me though, I'm free to pursue interests whenever." He then frowned slightly, realizing it just wouldn't have the challenge rush he experienced before. All of a sudden, he felt a powerful force immerge out of nowhere. Changing direction, he hoped it would attract a few of those pretty ladies he met up with last night.

Sailor Iron Mouse laughed as her youma caused mass damage. "Yes, keep causing damage Cromedome! Then we shall see what these sailor scouts are truely made of."

Chromedome spun her wheeled feet, "Shopping cart assault!" Several arms came out of her back, with shopping carts attached to each end. They smashed through a candy store, spilling gum drops all around the floor from broken machines.

"Halt! Fiend!"

Iron Mouse snickered, and brushed back her white hair. "Finally the famed sailor scouts I've heard about have arrived."

Sailor Moon stood up on one of the benches along the sides of the mall. "I won't stand by and let you destroy people's pleasure to shop. In the name of the moon..."

Mars, Mercury, and Jupitor took up stances and picked up the speech, "we will punish you!"

It was during this scene that Happosai arrived, raining a spread of women's unmentionables over Chromedome, the scouts, and Iron Mouse.

Chromedome lifted up a handful, "What is this?" The she-monster then felt something different.

"Hmmm... A little different, too much exercise I suppose?" A voice from below.

"What is this?" Sailor Iron Mouse was offended. "How dare you take me so lightly old fool. Destroy him!"

"Money wrap!" A string of attached yen bills came out of the youma's back and attempted to capture Happosai. It was a simple matter to dodge, and Chromedome was tied up by her own attack. Smoking his pipe, Happosai landed beside Chromedome - and with a simple push - the youma fell flat on her face humuliated.

"Mars baby! Long time no see." He sidestepped a clumsy kick by the downed youma. "What are you doing here out of school?"

The scouts were appauled by Happosai's ease of defeating their enemy. Knodding as one, they changed priorities to the higher threat.

"Mercury bubbles splash!"

The area was filled with a dense fog, something only the scouts could see through. Well, supposedly that was to be the case. Happosai was used to night raids and was not limited to sight, and relied on feeling with his aura. Galaxia's minion was the first to find out first hand this fact.

Bystanders sweatdropped as they heard within the cloud of cold mist several femine screams, with a few punchuated yells of victory by an unknown old man.

"Hotcha!"  
"Aiiiieeee! Get off me you ugly freak!"  
"Jupitor thunder cra--what the... get it off, get it off!"  
"Hold on there, it think I have him. Hey, why am I wearing a wonder bra?"  
"Consider it a gift Mars-baby. It looks so great on you!"  
There was silence for a bit.  
"Come on out you pervert so I can KILL you!"

Pluto teleported in a short distance away. Her eye started twitching when she realized what was going on. "Mercury, lift the fog! He is using it to his advantage!"

Mercury immediately complied. The scene revealed Mars trying to get out of an embarrasing lacy bra and panties - worn on the outside. Jupitor and Sailor Iron Mouse were back to back, for a moment agreeing to combine forces to fend off the threat to the female side of the species. Sailor Moon was beating on something she thought was the pervert with the moon sceptor, but happened to be the youma's head. Mercury was scanning the area for Happosai, and spotted him going through one of the stores - it wasn't hard though since several screams were coming out of Victoria's Secret.

Iron Mouse decided now would be a good time to get out. Also since the youma was knocked out but not dead, she decided to take it back with her. A portal opened and pulled them through, her voice echoing through it as it closed, "I'll be back you old pervert!"

Sailor Moon sweat dropped, "Heh, usually they say that to me. But without the old pervert part."

Happosai jumped out of the store, looked both ways and ran off in a random direction with a bag full of new merchandise. As he disappeared around the corner, "See you tonight Mars-baby, and please bring by Pluto-chan!"

Mars and Pluto simply clenched their fists and stomped off, the stone floor cracking under their steps. Pluto turned to the remaining scouts, "Come, we need to stop him before Galaxia gets to him. Tonight is our chance."

**------------------------**

Happosai sighed, "All that, and I still haven't been able to come across an appropriate heir. Especially one that is loyal.... one that will unquestionably follow my wisdom. Genma and Soun were doing fine, but lacked ambition to raise the school to new levels."

He trudged along and came across another school. While finding a female heir would suit him perfectly, most likely they wouldn't find his hobbies satisfactory which ruled out most of the population at Mars' private school. He also needed someone young so he could start with a mind with a clean of outside influences. Classes were just starting to get out, and gave him the best opportunity to survey the population. Now, if only he had Genma's forbidden techniques his job would be easier... along with the afterhour hobbies.

Sitting silently, he listened in on the students coming out.

"Did you hear? That top student lost her perfect attendence today!"  
"Ya I heard that she went to the mall. There was a youma attack."  
"Na, I heard it was a pervert."

Happosai grinned at learning his fame was spreading so quickly.

Next, a group of four girls game out. His eyes widened in recognition of their auras.

"Ami, its not that big a deal! You of all people shouldn't be that concerned skipping two classes. It was important we were there."

"I don't like it either way. Now I may need to come in after class tomorrow to clarify a few of the topics I missed."

Usagi countered, "Ya, but you will get an A on the midterm no matter what."

Minako patted the senshi leader on the back, "Now Usagi, don't count your chickens before they explode."

"That's before they hatch," Makoto corrected.

"Ya, that's what I said." A round of growns insued.

As the four left the grounds, Happosai stayed a moment longer. One of the individuals that stood out, Umino, would be a good candidate if he was more athletic, which could be remedied with time. After all, the first requirement was the correct mindset and a willness to learn from anyone, and only those that stood out from the crowd may have that certain gift that set them apart. That cinched it, and his decision was made.

Jumping down, he ran ahead to catch up with the prospective heir. Now was a time to show off and convence the boy. Up ahead, he saw the boy talking with some girl. "Umino!"

Umino adjusted his huge glasses and looked around for the source of the voice. "Who said that?"

Happosai looked up from behind the boy, "Right here boy, behind you."

Umino's partner, Naru, squinted down at the master. "Are you some sort of leprachaun or something?"

At the prospect of finding such a scientific find, Umino's adreniline started pumping, "This is great! We'll be the first people to present a live specimen to the scientific community! We must catch it!"

The huge miscalculation that Happosai had made in his possible heir made itself clear. First, the boy had _too_ much brains, or too little depending on the situation. This was deducted from what he had just proclaimed. Second, he would need more than extremely massive amounts of training to get up to even Ukyo's level. This was made clear by observing the slow way the boy moved to try and catch Happosai, and promptly tripped on nothing. Deciding to get something out of this little jog, Happosai jumped over Umino at Naru.

"Eeeekk! Get it off! Why does this always happen to me!" The senshi were long gone, and that left Umino to her defense. Getting up, Umino lunged once again at the perverted 'leprachaun'. Said leprachaun leaped off in time to the top of the school wall and ran its length to disappear around the corner.

Umino couldn't stop himself from moving, and fell on top of Naru. They fell over, and silence insued for about half a minute. "Umino, would you mind getting off?"

Umino the Geek, the Innocent (most of the time), and one of the most shy individuals around women - his brain was on overload. Standing up mechanically, and removing his hands from two mounds, he helped his friend up. He then ran as fast as he could.

"Umino! Come back! It was an accident!" Naru called and tried to follow him, but quickly lost him down one of the many narrow spaces between buildings in the residental areas.

Elsewhere, Happosai was disappointed, but was determined not to give up. Only the exceptional, the ones that stood out, would be the best material to work with. He'd just have to look harder, and widen his search. Perhaps even going to China later to see if there was an Amazon tribe (preferably one that wasn't after his life either).

"Well, I suppose I should return to the shrine, I'm sure she brought all her friends too. Pluto-chan should be there too."

Waddling along, he decided to get something to eat. Ducking into a ramen shop, he ordered their largest beef ramen bowl which was about as large as he was. Grabbing a pair of chopsticks, he dug in, ignoring those around him. He also failed to notice the three women that came in to eat.

Haruka opened the door to let Micharu and Hotaru in. "We've still got a half hour till we need to be there, I'm starving."

A waitress greeted the three, "Welcome to the Imperial Palace Restaurant, please follow me." They were lead into the restaurant, and sat in a booth behind Happosai who was still oblivious to their presence.

Micharu propped her head up on her hands, "I've never eaten here before, they just open recently?" Opening the menu, "Hmm, they have a wide selection of spicy food, but not too much in the range that you would like."

Hotoru looked at the menu, "That's alright, I'm sure I can take it."

At that moment, Happosai finished his bowl and started to take in his surroundings. He then heard a young soft voice behind him finish talking.

"I've had worse, and I'm getting stronger than you think."

*The girl has the attitude, perhaps I may have a new pupil similar to little Hinako-chan.* Pressing himself into the cushen seats of the booth, Happosai listened carefully to the three in the booth. A nagging thought also itched in the back of his mind saying he's met them before, but he ignored it.

"Ok, but if it is too much for you, I'll get you something different. Ok dear?"

Happosai frowned, *Her two friends seem a little overprotective of her, I'll have to do something about that.*

The waitress returned to their table, "Ready to order?"

"Um... yes. I'll have number twentysix."

"Same here. What about you Hotoru?"

*Hotoru is her name... now for the other two.*

"Um... ten looks good. I'll try that."

"Thank you. I'll be back with your orders in a few minutes." As the waitress passed Happosai's table, she paused. "Is everything alright sir?"

Happosai absent mindedly answered, "Yes, thank you."

Micharu, Hotoru, and Haruka straightened at the voice. Their thoughts all mirrored. "Him."

Their sudden change in emotion sent off alarm bells in Happosai's mind. He now also recognized them. However, he fought down the urge to greet the pretty ladies from last night as it wouldn't help his position with Hotoru if it already wasn't ruined from the previous night's welcome. Slapping down a note saying to forward the bill to the Hikawa shrine, he jumped out an open window.

Haruka and Micharu were on their feet, but by the time they had gotten around to the booth the pervert was occupying they were too late. Haruka flagged down the waitress, "Um, miss? We have a change of plans. Mind if we get that to go?"

Outside, Happosai ran to the shrine with multiple plans going through he head as to how to get a room, redeem himself with Hotoru and start her training, and still enjoy the company of the other pretty ladies. Nothing came to mind, so he shrugged his shoulders, "Guess I'll have to wing it."

**------------------------**

Sailor Pluto appeared beside the sacred fire of the Hikawa Shrine, for once being the first arrival to the group. The perverted anomaly with the power to take on Galaxia's forces, and the entire troop of Sailor Senshi was hidden entirely from the Time Gate. Placing herself behind one of the oaks in the yard, she held the length of the Time Staff close and ready to strike. Hopefully the outers would arrive, and they could destroy this menace without some of the inners' squabbles that hamper the battles. Ami, Usagi, Minako, and Makoto entered the shrine courtyard to be greeted with a sigh from the tree. Sailor Pluto cursed and stepped out brow furrowed, "Transform quickly! He could be here at any moment."

The urgency hinted at in her voice quieted any questions that might have sprung to mind. They raised their henshin rods, and called out their transformation phrases. Midway through, their nemesis entered. Happosai paused in midstride. His eyes grew large, limbs stiffing in shock. He had seen Mars-baby transform once, which was hard enough to control himself. Now, he was faced with the swirling, energetic, totally unclothed siloetts of four sailor senshi. Pluto-chan was off to the side, further raising his adreniline.

"I've died and gone to heaven! Again!" Happosai launched forward and reached the girls just as their transformations finished. The high energy in the air filled his reserves entirely, making it appear to the girls that he was teleporting between them each time they attempted to bat him off.

Outside, Hotoru and her guardians pulled up. Haruka stepped out, "Sounds like the fighting has already started, hurry!"

Happosai sensed the arrival of his new heir and jumped in front of the gate to greet her properly. Micharu and Haruka were still untransformed, and were easily tripped up into the bushes. Hotoru was panting when she reached the gate when she realized she was totally helpless before their new enemy in her untransformed state.

"Don't worry my dear, I'm not here to hurt you." Happosai noticed her heavy breathing, the girl looked about ready to collapse. "Here, let me help you up the stairs."

Hotoru hestitantly let the old man hold her hand, and she gradually gained strength as they went up. 'But I'm not putting any weight on him!'

The other scouts were shocked as the two passed them up the steps. "Well, what are you waiting for? I suppose you would like to have a little chat?"

Pluto motioned with her staff for them to follow, but not to change back to their civilian outfits. Neptune and Uranus transformed before following. All were fearful for the youngest member of their group and didn't wish to provoke the freak - with him so close to Hotoru untransformed, she was effectively being held hostage in front of them.

In the crowded meeting room Happosai sat at the head of the table. Hotoru sat beside him, hands folded on her lap. The inners were in their usual places, with the outers standing - all were had deadly serious frowns.

Taking his pipe out and shining it on his sleeve, "I suppose we could get started. My name is Happosai, grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Don't bother looking for any others of the school, I'm not from around here."

"Then why are you here? Other than to destroy Crystal Tokyo and cop a feel?" demanded Mars. Uranus adjusted her stance, uncomfortable with the way Mars was antagonizing him and Hotoru in such a vulnerable position. So far though, Happosai wasn't putting off any hints of an attack although that could change in a heartbeat.

A match flicked out of nowhere and lit the pipe. Taking short puffs, he then blew out a smoke ring. "Interesting question, I'm not sure why I'm here. Truthfully, I don't know. One moment I was fighting that ingrate student of mine, the next I was blasted here. Now, if you must know my intentions I have a need to find a heir for my school. I'm not getting any younger you know." He briefly glanced at Hotoru, but no one noticed the slip.

Pluto tapped her foot. The answers he was giving were interesting, but everything he was saying didn't ring any bells in her memory. That school of his could be interesting to look up. "What do you know of Crystal Tokyo? Or the Silver Millenium?" You couldn't get more direct than that.

"No idea Pluto-chan. First I've heard of them." Tapping out the ashes in his pipe into a cup on the table, then putting it away he gave a sigh. Leaping up to a small window completely catching everyone off guard he called out before leaving, "Well, it's been nice. I'm off to rescue my silky darlings! See you around!"

Everyone but Pluto made a move to chase after him.

"Sit!" Everyone froze and looked back at the senshi of time. "You will do no such thing at this time. I am going to the time gates. This foe is one that will require planning to defeat. Till then, be on your best guard." At that, she disappeared.

**------------------------**

Later that night, Hotoru closed the door to her bedroom. Something felt, off. A quick scan of the room and she noticed a note scrawled out on her pillow.

It read, *To my new student, it was a pleasure meeting you tonight. I have an offer to make you, and one that may also help you gain strength. I will meet you later this week for your decision. Happosai.*

Her numb fingers dropped the note, and she ran out her bedroom door.

Outside on the roof, Happosai knodded and hefted the large bundle. "One job done, now to go back to Mars-baby for that room."

Rei was just settling in when she heard a noise in the corner. Now on full alert, she pulled a bokken out of her closet. 'What? I didn't realize I had one of these.' Shaking her head clear of thoughts, she concentrated on destroying the intruder. Raising it above her head, she then swung it down. It landed in something soft. Kicking out, she breathed out in relief. "Only laundry."

Turning the lights on, she turned and saw one of the largest piles of women's unmentionables. "What in the world!?"

"You like?"

"IEEEEE!" She whirled to hit the intruder. It was stopped with just a finger. In her surprise she stopped her assault, "Wha?"

"Hey, Mars-baby. Like my presents?" Happosai brought his hand down.

"Presents?" Her mind caught up with her. "Why you!? What makes you think I want those, those -things- ?!" she pointed at the pile of pink and white frilly garments.

Happosai changed to a puppydog eyes look, "You mean you don't like them? I was out all night freeing them for you Mars-baby." Turning his back to her, "Is it too much to ask for this old man to try and cheer up all he has left in this world?"

Rei wasn't ready for this other change in warfare and truly thought he was crying, "Err, its not that I don't like them, its just that... uhm..."

His head turned slightly toward her, "You mean you don't hate me?"

"Uhm, not entirely."

He jumped at Rei, "Thank you! Now try out this little number for me." He glomped on.

She screamed and swiped to get him off. Happosai easily flipped away, but had a grin on his face. "Now, that doesn't look so bad."

Rei looked down, and saw a black, partially transparent, lacy, Victoria's secret bra on the outside of her pajamas. A red aura flared around her and she clenched her fist, "Why you... DIE!" The bokken was again swinging through the air, missing its target everytime.

On the other side of the house, Grandpa Hino woke to the sound of rightous female fury rampaging through the hallway. Still in his boxers, he slid open the door to his personal quarters. His eyes grew wide as Happosai whipped past, with Rei in her night clothes in a black bra close behind. "Now that is something you don't see everyday."

As the two started to come back, he stepped out in front of the two. "Stop."

Rei skid to a stop beside her grandfather, while Happosai stopped directly in front of the other old man.

"Who are you?" Hino straightened, for once taking advantage of someone just barely shorter than himself.

"Me? I am Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. I brought Mars-baby here some gifts, and she was just showing her appreciation for them." Happosai bowed to the shinto priest.

Rei again raised her bokken to strike, "Why you - I'll show you appreciation-"

"Hold, I'll make the decision for violence on the shrine grounds. Now, what makes you think you can come in here thinking you can reveal Sailor Mar's secret?"

Rei paled, "You knew?"

Hino knodded, "It wasn't hard my dear, what with your friends chatting. It isn't really hard to overhear."

Happosai knodded, "Yes, I knew. It wasn't so hard with someone of my skills. I was more looking to see if I could find a room to stay for a while. In return I can help Mars-baby with...."

Hino grinned, "I think we can accomodate you." Turning, Happosai followed behind. "There is this nice young man I think could use a few pointers with regareds Rei. You wouldn't happen to be able to help him also?"

"I think I can help."

The bokken clattered on the wooden floor. Rei stared forward, "I don't believe this is happening, my life is over."

Rei collapsed on her bed, groaning about the injustice of it all. Knowing she couldn't do anything about it tonight - what with her grandpa and the old freak in cahoots - she shoved it all to the back of her mind and fell asleep.

On the other side of the Juuban ward, Hotoru pounded on her parent's door. "Haruka-papa! Micharu-mama! Come quick!"

The door burst inward almost instantly with the occupants in various stages getting dressed again. "What is it?! Did that old freak track us back here?"

Hotoru knodded silently.

Micharu leaned up against the open doorway, her left hand coming to her forehead, "Oh... crap."

Haruka frowned at her partner at the swearing, but turned back to Hotaru. "How do you know? Did he hurt you?"

"No papa. Come, I'll show you what he left in my room."

All three went back through the main living area back to the bedroom, with the note still on the floor. Haruka knelt down and picked it up. After scanning it quickly, she went to hand it over to Micharu - only it was snatched out of the air by another pair of hands by a still transformed Sailor Pluto.

As the note was read, over and over, Pluto's hands clenched and crumpled the paper in her hands. Micharu fidgeted, wanting to know what everyone else knew but her. Finally after Pluto threw it against the wall in anger, she scrambled to uncrumple it and read it.

"The freak is more resourceful than I thought. Not only has he tracked down Mars tonight, but he also knows our civilian identities. We can probably be safe to assume he knows the other scouts." Pluto then untransformed, realizing it was best now to regroup.

"Any idea what he wants?" Haruka added.

Setsuna pointed at the note, "The only indication of what he wants is in that note... that and fondling women."

The idea of Happosai having his way with their little Hotaru sent Haruka into a fit. "WHERE is the little FREAK? I'll tear him limb for limb, then world shaking him, then repeat it till... till... Crystal Tokyo comes to be!" Her frustration was equally felt by the three elder scouts, while Hotoru was just confused but remained quiet.

Setsuna shook her head, "Right now he is in a known location where one of the other scouts is watching him, and seems to be for a while. We can regroup with the inners tomorrow and corner him there. It doesn't appear that he is with the other new enemy that has appeared that is also clouding the Time Gate."

The three retired to sleep - a very restless sleep.

**------------------------ **In deep space....

Galaxia tapped her fingers on her throne, thinking over the new developments. Another power on Earth was felt, one with far more concentration of chaos energy than she herself had. Before, she was contemplating openly facing the scouts and taking their star seeds one by one. Now, she would have to proceed more carefully.

"This new element could either be the downfall of scouts, myself, or us all." Raising her palm in summoning, Sailor Iron Mouse appeared before her queen, bowed.

"Yes my queen?"

"I have thought over your report on this one you described. He could pose a problem. Monitor his actions, and what power he has - but do not interfer between him and the scouts of the Silver Millenium. I will be expecting your report in one day." Galaxia lowered her palm, and her own sailor scout was sent back to earth in a swirl of silent dark energy.

Back on Earth, Sailor Iron Mouse assumed her civilian disguise as a reporter. Deep in her subconscious, she loathed and hated her captor Galaxia. However, her power was captive - her star seed under control - and she had no free will to fight back. So, instead of complaining about her assignment, she wordlessly walked out of the alley to try to track down this new power.

As she was about to turn toward one of the residential districts, she felt the power moving rapidly toward one of the more hilly areas of the urban metropolis. Changing her arch of movement, she patiently started walking in that direction.

Unknown to her, Urd was watching from above, trying to think out a way to carry out Kami-sama's wishes. Her index finger tapped against her cheek absently as she sat crosslegged in midair. "Why did I agree to this assignment? I could have just waited out my probation. But no, I had to take this thing in my impatience. This is turning out harder than I thought to get Happosai up there without them knowing... and my only clear link is this girl." Leaning flat on her back still in midair, she put her hands behind her head and looked up at the moon. "The moon... strange how in this world it is the center of all this world's life and death struggle from so long ago. Yet in others, it acts on so many levels of a romantic setting."

A spark lit in the goddess's mind. "Oh my..." Sitting straight up her eyes widened in realization. "Oh YES. This is perfect! The perfect way to get this thing on the road!"

A maniacal laugh could be heard echoing below, even after she teleported back up to her heavenly 'chemistry' labs.

Below, Iron Mouse got this odd chill up her spine as she walked down the dark street. An unseen aura surrounded her, sending the occasional transient or gang member to move out of the area in fear. Her senses were on high alert, tracking her quarry back to... "A shrine? What is that letcher doing here anyway?"

Reaching up to the shrine gate bars, she casually bent them back with a scream of twisted metal. Being discreet in trying to watch someone obviously wasn't one of her traits. She then walked purposefully up the steps and saw some figures ahead. She narrowed her eyes, trying to see who it could be.

The two older occupants of the shrine were passed out on the steps, bottles of spent sake and various women's undergarments around them. Above them stood a girl in a red skirt, shaking her head in disgust. The dark haired woman noticed the new arrival to the shrine and then the gates.

"Halt! You come any closer you'll regret it!"

Before either could call out an attack, a lightening bolt crashed between them. Sailor Mars was blown backward to bang her head on the large oak tree in the yard. Sailor Iron Mouse, being much closer to the blast was singed and temporarily knocked out.

Urd brushed off her cloths of the smoke and dust that was blown up from the blast. Surveying the damange, she saw everyone out of commission. "All too easy."

Picking up Happosai's worn gi by the back - and holding him at arms length as if a diseased dead cat - moved over to Sailor Iron Mouse and held him over her. In her other hand, she popped open a glass vial and dropped some of its contents on Iron Mouse. Then she dropped Happosai on her and teleported away quickly with a snicker.

Sailor Mars quickly stood, fearful her enemy was about to attack. The head rush forced her to lean up against the tree to regain her bearings. As she came to, she saw Happosai sprawled out on the new arrival. "SO, the freak did that. Either he did that as a surprise attack, or just to cop a feel... probably the latter."

Also just outside, Sailor Mercury and Sailor Moon arrived to answer their comrad's emergency call, both panting for breath from their mad dash.

Sailor Mercury gasped out, "What happened?"

Mars held her head from the headache, she made her way to the bodies. "I don't know, but apparently the old freak did something," and pointed at the two bodies, the bottom one just starting to stir.

"Huh?" The woman grabbed hold of the weight on her chest and held it up in front of her face to see.

All three Silver Millenium scouts thought for sure the woman was going to pound the old letch. Instead, she just lay there, with a blank look.

"MY LOVE!"

Mars stepped back in surprise at the outburst, and of the woman hugging the pervert in a bone crushing embrace.

Mercury's jaw dropped.

Sailor Moon's face turned white, "What in the world did you just say?!"

Happosai opened his eyes, feeling renewed strength coming to him and wiping away his drunken state.

"I've died and gone to heaven again! Again!"

Sailor Iron Mouse womanly instincts bunted the old man to the other side of the clearing despite her mind wanting to hug him tighter. His head embedded in the concrete wall. "Now why did that happen? Come back here!"

Happosai pulled his head out of the concrete, "NOW she punches a whollap, almost as much as that Hibiki kid." Turning, his eyes widened when he saw this well endowed woman running toward him, arms spread to welcome him in a hug. "Hotcha-URK!"

Sailor Mars was on the sideline, trying to keep her dinner down in her disgust. Then she noticed something... Happosai was struggling?

Happosai could feel his bones straining against the pressure. Any effort to try to get a plea for help or for her to stop was not working. It didn't help either that his arms were pinned down and unable to reach her moxibustion point.

Finally, Sailor Iron Mouse released him from her hug and twirled him in the air. "Finally!After all this time! I must take you back with me." Calling on her own personal reserves, she opened a portal and stepped through. Before it closed, the three other scouts present ran through.

On earth, Setsuna woke with a start feeling the powers converge. Blankets flew as she slammed open the door. All the outters will be needed - including Sailor Saturn. **  
**

**------------------------**

Sailor Iron Mouse exited the portal and began to run toward the ruling chamber of Galaxia - she felt a marriage was in order, and who better to lead the ceremony than her master? Her steps echoed in the emptiness of the subdimensional realm that seemed to go on forever in all directions. She neglected to notice the three scouts pile in just behind her before the portal closed.

Sailor Moon was a the bottom of stack, arms and legs flailing around. Her movements weren't making it any easier for Sailor Mars or Sailor Mecury, tripping them up several times.

Finally, Mecury was able to roll away and get to a standing position. She lowered her visor, and started taking measurements - ignoring the raspberry argument that Moon and Mars were now having.

Her eyes widened when one particular reading came up from the Mecury computer, "We're no longer on Earth."

This silenced Mars and Moon immediately, "What?! No way!"

Mercury turned slowly, "It appears we are in some sort of mini-dimension. Similar to the one that contained Pharaoh 99. It is also part of real space in a way, so we are not entirely separated. The energies to construct such an environment are enormous!"

Eyes glazed over from the science lesson, Moon shook her head free, "So, what do we do now?"

Mars pointed in the direction that they last saw the perverted duo disappear to. "What else? We follow the lady that," Mars shivered at the memory, "seemed to love that pervert."

The other two scouts also shuttered at the recent memory.

They began running, emptiness around them. The floor was semi-transparent - almost as if they were running in the emptiness of space. Mercury surmised that was probably the case, with only the infinitely thin walls of the dimensional construct protecting them from vacuum.

Behind them, Urd floated high above. Hoping the plan would come to fruition in the next few minutes.

As Sailor Iron Mouse ran, she began to slow. The haze that was clouding her judgment was starting to clear, and the grip on a blue, twitching Happosai weakened. Breathing in a gasp of new air, Happosai got his second wind. He was now able to fully drink in the energies the lovely lady had to offer - which were astounding in his opinion.

Fondling, he mumbled out, "Hmm... just like Pluto-chan."

His voice broke the last vestages of the spell that Urd had cast, and Sailor Iron Mouse came to full realization what she was doing.

"Get away from me you FREAK!" and in old school football style, she drop kicked Happosai the remaining distance to the throne room and into the portal. "The throne room! Oh, no! Galaxia!"

She picked up her pace to try and save her skin, then realizing just what was on the line she ran just that much harder.

In the slight pause that Sailor Iron Mouse had to take care of Happosai, the three Silver Millenium scouts had closed the distance to within shouting distance. Sailor Moon half yelled, half panted out, "Stop!"

No response came from the woman ahead, she mearly ran into a doorway that was in midair. It had no border, no thickness, but was significantly brighter on the inside. Then, they felt goosebumps propagate up and down their spines.

Power incarnate - on the order of what Sailor Moon wields with the Imperial Crystal in only the most dire of situations - washed over them. The wave was then followed by a yell, "DIE VERMIN!"

Mercury began running first, "It appears that our friend Happosai-"

"That freak is NOT our friend Mercury," Mars butted in.

Continuing, Mercury rephrased, "The old gnome has just found our host and source of the power that holds this place together."

The three scouts entered the portal, and had to shield their eyes from a bright flash that just occured above. Squinting, they tried to catch a glimpse. Gradually, their eyesight adjusted and they were able to take in the entire scene.

A violent, florecent vortex of energy was swirling into Galaxia's hands. She would shoot of a beam, which would brighten the area once more, but miss the old pervert. As the beam continued out, it warped the space everyone was contained in - lending a feeling of nausea to the scouts.

Sailor Iron Mouse, and two other new arrivals that Moon, Mercury and Mars hadn't seen before. They therefore assumed that they had allegiance to the powerful entity above them.

Happosai was starting to grow second thoughts about freeing the silky darling from the lady he found in this room. He also was reevaluating his fondling said woman. Energy was being thrown around at a faster and faster rate, but each one was more powerful than the last. It would only be a matter of time before he was vaporized - again.

Galaxia felt a few powers begin to charge. Glancing down, she growled when they were those powers she had initially come to this solar system to investigate - and take control of their star seeds.

As Sailor Moon finished her posing, she unleashed a large pink heart attack. Unlike Mars, she hadn't jumped to conclusions about these new powers - the only evil she had seen was the short demon of women's undergarments.

Mars sighed, and resigned herself to attacking Happosai with some burning mandalas at the same time as Mercury's aqua rhapsodies.

Just as Happosai was to get a recharge off Galaxia, Mercury's attack hit him in the side. He gritted his teeth in pain as he began to fall back to the ground. Galaxia on the other hand was surprised that someone other than her minions protected her. A small spark of hope ignited within her heart.

*Back on his throne, Kami-sama grinned and finished typing in the commands to heaven's computer system to end Urd's probation.*

In the middle of this carnage - all of it directed at Happosai - a portal opened. Pluto and the other outers attacked Happosai on sight, with Hotoru putting up a silent wall to protect them from rouge shots from the other fighters.

"Perfect, thanks Pluto-chan!" Happosai jumped off Pluto's head, and toward the now closing portal that Sailor Saturn was defending. With a flick of the pipe, he and Saturn escaped into the closing vortex.

With the old pervert gone, everyone realized just where they were and looked at each of the four groups - all of them in some sailor suited armor.

Galaxia pointed at Sailor Moon, "Who are you?"

Pluto was sweating bullets, without Saturn here, Galaxia could end it all for them. Sailor Moon wasn't in her Serenity persona, and didn't have an inkling of the power needed to face down the queen of chaos without it.

"I'm Sailor Moon, protector of justice and love! We came to try and destroy that enemy of women." Sailor Moon started to walk toward Galaxia, but in a non-threating manner.

Galaxia's three sailor scouts from outside the solar system looked on, ready to jump to action should the outers attack from the side.

Soon, Sailor Moon extended her right hand, "We should combine our powers to deal with this enemy."

The other scouts nearly dropped their jaws at the way Sailor Moon was acting. Almost like a real princess! Pluto wavered just a bit when she saw Galaxia hesitate - but then firmly shook Sailor Moon's hand.  
"I agree - but only for the meantime. I will have your power, but since one of your friends helped me in the battle, I will agree to spare you."

The other scouts - both Galaxia's and Sailor Moon's - met face to face and shook hands in truce. It was shaky, but in the blinking of an eye, the most powerful forces in the galaxy had combined.

Happosai, beware.

**------------------------**

Happosai exited the portal, with an unconscious Sailor Saturn held over his head. It wasn't the easiest task to keep her from hitting the ground, considering his height. He knew his arranged residency at the shrine of Mars-baby wasn't the safest place to continue Saturn's training, in fact the islands of Japan weren't safe and most of Asia.

Rushing out of the home of the outers, he took to the rooftops in large jumps and moving as fast as he could for the boundaries of the city. His full skill as a grandmaster of the anything goes school was put to use, even running across loose clay tiles of some of the houses didn't stir them or make noise.

Unknown to him, Galaxia had maneuvered her cloaked dimensional fortress above Tokyo with information from Sailor Pluto on where to look for the old pervert. She chuckled, now having more knowledge on the sailor soldiers of Earth and their capabilities - who would have thought they had access to a time gate? It was a simple application of energy to move it to her throne room. It towered over her simple throne in front, but it made a superb decoration considering there weren't other decorations compare it to.

Sailor Moon stood beside her, and sweat dropped as the galactic empress grew into a maniacal laugh.

Pluto had argued against using the time gate but had to follow the orders of her princess. Galaxia was not a person to argue with and probably could take the time gates by force even if Pluto resisted. If their ally decided to turn on them any second Pluto was ready to teleport as many away as she could to the far edges of the galaxy.

Urd hovered above all of them, nodding that things seemed to be working. Especially good was they weren't killing each other. Changing into a mini-Urd form she floated down to the ground.

Mercury was still monitoring the area and noticed a small blip of energy spike other than from Galaxia and the time gates. She redirected some of her scans from Galaxia and the Time Gates to the surroundings.

Urd, along with Jupiter, noticed her comrad's unease. Jupiter walked over to Mercury's side "Something wrong?"

Mercury knodded, "I think there is someone here with us." She slowly made full 360 degree turn, the Mercury computer devoting all of its resources to a full area active scan. Mini-Urd bit her lower lip as she dodged behind Mercury, staying behind the scanning field and trying to avoid being stepped on.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Mercury let her head display dissolve back into her headband. "Must have been my imagination. I didn't pick up anything."

Urd was relieved she had made it this far, and concentrated back on the mission. Dodging from scout to scout, she finally made it to the time gates. Not an easy task since there wasn't much else to hide behind than the people she was trying to hide from. Sailor Moon, Sailor Pluto and Galaxia were peering into the depths watching the past few days and trying to discern where their foe had come from or will be going to. Urd smiled as she made the last dodge behind the time gates.

Raising her palm to the pillar, Mini-Urd called forth her power as the goddess of the past. The time gate after all was an item of her creation, a class four magical construct that was nothing more than a magical television with some ability to transport individuals around – exactly the way Urd is used to traveling. A flick of the wrist upward, and the view that Galaxia and the others were watching flickered.

Pluto frowned and pointed the time staff at the gates, trying to reassert her will on them. Urd flicked her wrist down, and the slight modification was complete. Pluto relaxed her grip on the staff when she thought her will on the gate was reasserted, then noticed the view wasn't what it should have been. Instead of a birds eye view of Tokyo, Japan yesterday, the time was shifted slightly - by 300 million years in the past - making it useless for tracking.

"What happened?!" Galaxia yelled. She whirled on Pluto, thinking some sort of foul play had occurred.

Pluto again tried to force her will on gates, but nothing happened. "I.... I don't know. This has never happened before."

Galaxia growled and grabbed the time key from Pluto. Usually anyone other than Pluto that touches the key is badly shocked and burnt. To the chaos queen, it was nothing more than a tingle.

Focusing for a minute, Galaxia gained control over the time gates quickly. It changed locations several times, showing different time lines that were possible from the time of the dinosaurs. Some showed a meteor crashing, others with ice ages more fridged than the great freeze to come for Crystal Tokyo, and others depicted civilizations traveling through space but with a reptilian culture instead of human. Nothing though about the current time and place.

"This is worthless. I shouldn't have tried to rely on this to find this demon." Galaxia handed the time staff back to Pluto and crossed her arms over her gold plated armor. "I'll just have to rely on my own means." Raising her hand, she snapped her fingers. Immediately her own scouts were bowing before her. "Go to earth, and find this man. If you find him, kill him."

Sailor Moon added in, "And save Sailor Saturn. She shouldn't be hurt."

"Yes Moon-sama and Galaxia-sama!"

Before the group took off, Neptune and Uranus stepped forward. Neptune clinched her fist "We're going with. We know Earth better and he took Saturn with him. That little freak will pay." With that, the five scouts disappeared into columns of light from Galaxia's teleportation spell.

Urd by this time was stepping into the time gates to make her getaway. It didn't look like the group was going to break out into all out war, so now she needed to check up on Happosai. As she stepped through, Galaxia noticed the ripple wave traverse the time gates. "Something is definitely up." Walking over to them, she concentrated her power through it to find anybody that may be interacting with the gates from afar. She did raise an eyebrow when she noticed a temporary temporal path fading away and sent a powerful zap of lightening down it. "That should take care of whoever was snooping or interfering."

In a TV shop on the boundary of Juuban ward, Urd was just starting to fit her head through the wide screen. As we zoom out about a mile above the shop, it promptly explodes in a shower of sparks. Zooming back in, Urd is seen twitching and smoking in the crater.

"Owie.... that missy has something coming if she thinks she can mess with me." Urd rolled over on her stomach. Another lighting bolt made its presence known a foot in front of her, making her flinch expecting another round of pain. Galaxia's bolt was nothing more than a spark to a goddess of her level, but still a pain and an annoyance.

Getting up and dusting herself off, she looked down at the last strike. "A message from Kami-sama?"

"URD, GOOD JOB. THIS UNIVERSE'S FUTURE IS MUCH BRIGHTER. YOUR PROBATION IS OVER. ALL YOUR POWERS ARE NOW RESTORED."

Urd jumped in the air and spun in elation, "Yes! Thankyouthankyouthankyou THANK YOU!"

Another strike occurred. She froze and looked over her shoulder at the ground and groaned.

"IN RECOGNITION OF YOUR EXCELLENT WORK, YOU ARE GIVEN A NEW MISSION. HELP HAPPOSAI TRAIN SAILOR SATURN. YOU MAY LEAVE THIS WORLD, BUT SATURN MUST EVENTUALLY RETURN TO THIS TIME AND PLACE. THEN AWAIT FURTHER ORDERS. SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO LET IT BE DONE."

With that, it faded leaving only an unrecognizable burn mark on the ground.

Urd's shoulders shrunk, "Great, well at least I am no longer restricted! Now I can really have some fun-urk!"

A weight bounced off her head, face planting her into the rubble of the electronics store. Lightening rippled around her, "Who ever did that will wish they blew up with the rest of the shop... eh?"

All she saw was a young girl's legs with a short skirt float and hop around corner, just above ground level.

Flexing some of her refound powers, Urd teleported above the area. In the direction of where the perpetrator went she saw her charge with the subject of her new mission. Glancing to the east, a group of sailor scouts was converging on the scrambling Happosai.

"Well, guess I can't hurt him right now. A job is a job. Kama-sama didn't say anything about not interfering directly this time though." Urd raised her hands over her head, then lowered them to her waist. As her palms traversed over her body, a black form fitting outfit similar to a ninja's covered her. Not a true ninja outfit being Urd, it still accented her assets quite well and gave a nice view of her cleavage. She then blinked out of existance.

Meanwhile below Happosai felt the powers he was having fun earlier with closing in on his position. This time he was determined to make good on his personal vow to train this young woman into his heir. First though he had to get out of there.

Neptune was the first of the group to spot Happosai and Saturn. "There he is!" She felt the urge to send a deep submerge in the general direction, but with Saturn being held, it was quickly ruled out.

Ready to start roof hopping and go for an all out dash across the city, Happosai was yanked off his feet and he was overcome with a feeling of overwhelming nausia, then the world blacked out in unconsciousness.

Urd smiled under the black ninja mask as Saturn and Happosai were put down behind some crates in an abandoned warehouse. Stepping back to admire her work, Urd tapped her chin thinking what she missed. "Ah! Can't let our heroes escape while I'm dealing with their friends." A veil of purple fluid puffed into her hands, on the side labeled, -Urd's Special Knockout Potion, Guaranteed to Put'em Under for a Week-.

Tilting Saturn's head back, Urd put one drop on the sleeping princess' lips. Her facial features eased as dreams changed to more pleasant.

Happosai was a bit different. Urd didn't want to touch the old coot anymore than pulling him through portals. Reaching out with a dropper of the fluid, she just started to let the potion drip out to fall on his lips. At this moment, Happosai came too.

"Eh? WHOA!" Happosai looked up to see a lovely lady bent over him, giving a nice view. His instincts took over and he moved instantly to this new beauty before him. Incidentally, the sleep potion drop missed him completely and fell harmlessly to the floor.

Urd also reacted immediately to the pervert's assault on her person and batted him away and through several wooden crates with her free hand. Standing up, the potion and dropper puffed out into goddess-space, and she put her hands on her hips. "You think you can get the jump on me, you have another thing coming. Happosai, grandmaster of anything goes, and has-been teacher to Ranma Saotome."

Happosai grumbled as he dug himself out of the trashed pile of pallets. "I can see that my dear-"

"I am most certainly not 'your dear'."

"-beauty. You seem to know a lot about me, what would your name be?"

Urd smirked under the ninja mask, "You can call me Urd for the time being. As for knowing what I do about you, -Hundred-Three-Year-Old, I have a few hundred centuries up on you and I have means of knowing far beyond you."

"Urd.... the name sounds familiar. Never mind, I take it you took care of the scouts that were chasing me?"

"Nope." Looking up, Urd frowned, "I would say that was fast. Our friends have arrived and they aren't too happy. I was hoping to get a portal spell going first."

On queue, the ceiling glowed red and was cut through easily by the space sword. Three pairs of gloves grabbed onto the still hot metal and pulled back. After it was peeled back like the top of a tin can, five scouts assembled around the opening. Uranus pointed down the the group, "Alright pervert, round three, and this time you die." Her hand then pointed at the ninja goddess. "Along with your partner."

Happosai though was silent and unmoving, as he soaked in the free show these new beauties were providing up their skirts. It took a moment for them to realize where he was looking and all five jumped down to vent their frustrations at being taken lightly.

Just as they were about to touch down, a force field bubble of electricity domed over Happosai. Screams of pain echoed in the warehouse as voltage played havoc with the scouts nervous system. They then were thrown back and skidded across the concrete floor. Minor burns were evident, but otherwise they were unharmed.

"Tisk tisk, you should learn by now direct assaults only work once you know your opponent is weaker. And you definitely do -not- know your opponent, let alone I'm not your average opponent." Urd stepped up beside Happosai who had just broken out of his self imposed panty hypnosis. "And you really need to get that weakness under control. We can't let our new student pick up any bad habits, can we?"

Happosai didn't miss the 'we' reference, "Our student? Saturn-chan is my pupil and I didn't ask for your help."

"What do you say though we teach these weaklings some humility? Then I can hitch us a ride out of this world. I understand Moon and Galaxia are out for your blood." Urd calmly pointed out as if it was the most common thing to talk about.

Being as old as he was, Happosai knew exactly what she was saying. It meant, 'You are coming with me and only I can save your skin.' Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, the martial arts master knodded, "Gladly. Shall we dance?" He took a stance and faced the recovered scouts.

Urd floated up and raised her hands above her head, "Keep them away from Hotoru. Now, lesser lightening call!"

Neptune attempted to prevent the spell from hitting by throwing a deep submerge at the unknown ninja. Granted the ninja wasn't being very stealthy, but was an opponent in the way of retrieving her adopted daughter. The deep submerge impacted with the small ball of electricity – which conducted the charge right back to the water spell's sender. Neptune jolted back from the blast, electricity coarsing up and down her body. Again like before, there was only minor burns and no permanent damage.

Uranus yelled up, "You think those attacks can hurt us? We've taken more than you can dish out in a year of trying!" Pointing the space sword toward Urd, "Why don't you try this on! SPACE SWORD BLASTER!" Swinging the sword in a clumsy arc, the five waves of yellow energy cut through the air at Urd. Just as they were about to reach, Urd disappeared. The blades cut through the metal ceiling and dissipated into the atmosphere.

"Come back here coward!"

"Oh really?" a voice from directly behind Uranus. Uranus was punched across the face and sent crashing into two of Galaxia's own sailors.

The third, Sailor Iron Mouse was closing in on Sailor Saturn and Happosai. She hoped that Urd's concentration centered on the others would give her time to claim both prizes and the reward from her queen. Her bracelets glowed as she raised them in front of her face, "Try this!" Green and blue spheres of energy lanced out toward the pervert, seeming to home perfectly.

He simply raised his tobacco pipe, twirled it and knocked both spheres back to sender. "One down, amateur."

Sailor Iron Mouse didn't even have time to blink as they impacted. She flew back like a rag doll, impacting with the last pile of crates not destroyed in the battle. She was still breathing, but didn't get up.

Happosai looked at the down sailor soldier, "Can't take a hit. These girls are all offense, no defense. I'll have to make sure to remedy that first with my new heir, along with her physical strength."

In the battle with Urd, only one more player was left standing – Sailor Neptune. Galaxia's minions were definitely lacking in experience compared to the outers. Uranus did land a punch to Urd's jaw, only to be taken out of the fight by a vicious lightening blast that shot down from ominous clouds that the goddess summoned.

Neptune knew she was beat, these two enemies didn't look to be in the mood to kill them, but none the less they were keeping Hotoru from her. All she could hope for now is for Sailor Moon or Galaxia to appear, or for the kidnappers to let information loose as to where they were going with Hotaru. Then she could strike back.

"Well, are you going to make a move or not? I don't have all night you know," Urd floated in midair. Shrugging her shoulders, she turned back to Happosai, "Happy, why don't you carry Saturn. No funny stuff.

"Wait!" Neptune called out, taking a step toward her adopted daughter but just barely holding herself back from a full run, "She is my daughter. Please don't take her. I beg of you."

Sigh This was the part that Urd hoped she didn't have to face in this battle. Fighting it out was so much more straight forward. Turning back to Neptune, she flew right up to the sailor soldier. Neptune had tears coming down her face, but didn't flinch from the sudden change of position.

"Listen, your daughter is in good hands with me. I may not particularly like her being trained by that pervert, but I can positively say that she key in some grand plans for the good. I don't see any harm in telling you this, but I am a goddess second class, the creator of the time gates. Ask Pluto, she'll recognize the name since I inscribed it on the side of that piece of junk." Urd breathed deeply. "Believe me, if I thought it was the best course of action for Hotaru to stay here and train, but that simply isn't possible. Happosai must be the one to train her and you all would simply kill him. Also, she needs skills that aren't offered here."

"Will I see her again?"

"Yes, eventually. I'm the goddess of past, not future so I can't say when. Now, I believe Galaxia will be finding this warehouse soon, so we must be going." Urd turned and pulled out a cell phone. "Asgard. ... Ya this is Urd. ... Finally got my powers restored. ... Mind running that teleportation program? The one I used for vacations. .... Thanks!"

Hanging up, Urd turned back to Neptune. "Sorry about this, but she will be back. Just believe and pray. Kami-sama listens."

At that, a light shot down from the sky and enveloped Happosai, Urd, and Saturn.

Neptune fell to her knees and cried.

**------------------------**

In an alleyway, another dimension, same planet... a cat peaked out of a garbage can and saw a dark clad woman and short old man come out of thin air carrying an unconscious individual. The strangers then ran down the alleyway and disappeared around the corner. Nuku Nuku shrugged it off and continued digging for that fish smell.

**------------------------**

Aftermath of the Sailor Moon universe - Sailor Moon and Galaxia had their arguments, but they eventually became good friends. They never did find the pervert or Sailor Saturn. Instead of the great freeze, Galaxia's power rejuvenated the power of the sun easily and deflected any asteroid threats. Also, the great clensing didn't occur since Sailor Moon listened to Galaxia's suggestions of chaos being one of society's keys to building strength.

Neptune and Uranus did pray for her daughter's return, especially when Pluto reluctantly revealed that Urd did create the time gates.

Centuries passed and peace was stable in the solar system, but didn't go much farther beyond the orbit of Nemesis. Enemies were envious of the Crystal Empire and began to secretly make war. They then struck, even finding ways to magically seal Galaxia's and Moon's powers. Defeat seemed inevitable, that is until Saturn teleported into the throne room. That though is a story far down the line....

**------------------------**

Urd led the way down the street shortly before ducking into an another alleyway than the one they entered this world from. A darkened rundown shop was at the end.

"Well, it -has- been a while since I've been here," Urd mumbled.

Happosai grunted and adjusted his hold on Sailor Saturn that he held in his arms now instead of above his head. Saturn's miniskirt was resting on the ground due to the lower height and was starting to accumulate bits of mud.

Taking a look around the alleyway like she was surveying a new house to purchase, Urd nodded in satisfaction. "A little shabby right now, but it should be a simple matter to spruce it up. I used to come here to sell potions and such when on vacation. Mishima Industries also showed quite a bit of interest in the potions agreed to hold the property for me. I'll have a bit of a talk with them about letting it decay like this."

"Ya whatever, I just want to put my heir down and check out the area."

"You mean go feel up some young women and steal some things of theirs."

Happosai raised his eyebrows, "You seem to know a lot about me. Lets just say we both have our hobbies."

Urd either ignored him or wasn't listening, because she continued to look at the abandoned shop. Then to Happosai's amazement she walked right through the boarded up door as if it wasn't even there. "Nice trick, I'll have to ask her to teach Hotaru the technique."

A second later, Happosai felt a shiver – no, more like a the feeling of standing between two large electrical transformers. It grew larger and the boards on the door to the shop began to shake. Taking a step back, Happosai's eyes grew large as the shop began to morph as if moving back in time with electricity crackling all over it. The dull gray and molded boards lost the decaying fungi and rejuvenated with a fresh newly painted white. Cracked and shattered windows flowed back into place.

Though, it seemed to be missing something. About to move into the shop, he hopped back in surprise when sparks splashed out from the signboard. Temporarily blinded, Happosai regained his vision and read the neon lights.

"Urd's Potion Paradise," then below it read in smaller letters, "and Divine Collections." Shrugging at the last part, the grandmaster entered the new shop.

Inside was the regular expected Nerima-style potions shop. Large bottles, small, the occasional jar with brains of some sort, mixing apparatus, then curiously a bank of computers along the wall labeled "Collectors Only Use". Then in the back was a sliding doorway.

Through this Urd walked through, "Bring sleeping beauty back here to rest. I'll make sure she stays asleep all night. So, how do you like the place?"

"Hum, not bad. You a master of hidden weapons to hide all this away?" Happosai walked into a nicely furnished living area and laid Saturn on the black leather couch.

"Hidden weapons? No, whatever that is. More of a magic user myself. Like I said back in the warehouse, I'm a goddess," Urd shrugged and went back into the main shop to prepare for opening.

Saturn was resting, but had a face that was anything but peaceful. Her eyelids squeezed tight every so often and her fists clinched.

Happosai pulled up a chair beside her and sighed. Examining her aura, he was more so impressed with her abilities than before. Still comparatively weak, she had amazing potential in her aura. The skimpy sailor suit helped tie everything together and magnify them. Seeing that force field in action, if she trains enough she may be able to bring her sailor abilities out even untransformed. A smirk grew when he thought about her powers growing in her transformed state.

Touching a few pressure points to put Saturn to sleep without any dreams, she relaxed considerably.

"There, now she will be ready for training. Unfortunately Urd knocked her out for a week."

Not bothering to tell Urd where he was going, Happosai started bounding over the roofs for the residential areas. On the way there he grabbed a blanket from one of the clothes lines to hold his precious darlings. Chuckling, he couldn't wait to bag his first silky darling from another world. Also he'd need them to prepare for Saturn's training.

The first five apartments were easy pickings. "The humanity! These people have no respect for these beauties. Nerima and Juuban at least guarded, protected, and cherished you in some way! This place has no such ideals. I must liberate!" Gaining a bit of confidence from the early successes, he began to actually creep into the apartments. The first one was easy and came out with a whole bag's worth. The second building he visited though was a bit more troublesome. The moment his hand touched the outside window to open it, alarms went off. His fingers were instantly jolted back with a thousand volts of electricity and he went flying down into the street to leave a small crater.

Getting up, Happosai groaned and looked up to take another shot at it. To his surprise instead of seeing just a regular apartment building with burglar alarms going off, it was also accompanied by floating robots and sentry guns pointed right at him.

Rockets fired.

"Oh dear."

Explosions followed and a smoking form came out of the larger crater. Happy stood and hobbled. Hurting, but not seriously. After all, he'd been through worse in his 200 years. From the frigged December air a charred piece of fabric floated down and settled on his bald forehead. It was silence for a moment, then slowly a red glow emanated from the charred burglar's eyes. A growl rumbled forth. About to jump back at the apartment building to seek revenge for his loss of bounty, he heard a squeal of tires. He was run over as an old jeep roared and jumped the crater.

"Ingrates!" Happy yelled and waved his fist at the motorist. A second later, he was dodging bullets from above. The burst of gunfire wasn't long and continued down the street after the speeding vehicle. Already in a fowl mood, "Alright, no one fires a weapon and runs like a coward from me!"

Bouncing up to a smaller building, Happosai started roof hopping after the attack helicopter. Behind him cops had just started to pull up to the apartment to investigate the attempted burglary against one of the most fortified apartment complexes in the country – a test project courtesy of Mishima Heavy Industries. It had a state of the art Mishima Anti-Burglar System MKNA401.

The chase continued toward a junk yard by the docks of Tokyo. Happosai was already way ahead of the jeep after poring on the speed. As it turned the corner, the attack helicopter lost sight of the jeep and had to maneuver around a set of high voltage power lines. Meanwhile down below the jeep was attempting a tight turn, but crashed into a pile of cars. Several other vehicles in the pile fell on top of it to cover the totaled jeep. Some dirty piles of snow also fell down in clumps.

Jumping down, Happy went to investigate the occupants. He had just jumped on top of the jeep when a spotlight moved over him. It quickly passed since he blended in well with the trash and dirty snow that layed on the heap. Shrugging off the brief interruption, Happosai began to look for a way down into the jeep when a burst of machine gun fire from above announced itself and several intense sharp pains in his body. As suddenly as it began, it stopped. Happosai flopped over in pain.

This movement caught the eye of the navigator manning the sensors in the helicopter, "Arisa, you idiot! You just shot a civilian!"

The pilot yelled toward the back of the craft, "Hey! It looked like junk at first! It's not my fault Kyouko!"

"I'm calling Lady Akiko immediately, we have to figure out how to deal with this. MHI could be in big trouble!"

Down below in the jeep one of the passengers held up a cat, bullet wound through its chest and clearly not breathing. Ryuunosuke, a child around age 10, held up the gray striped cat. Tears were falling from his eyes, "Dad, the cat! I shouldn't have brought the cat with me."

"Ryuunosuke, Ryuu buddy. Don't cry..." the scientist Kyuusaku Natsume, and father to Ryuunosuke, lit a cigar and looked at the robot skeleton in the back seat. As he grew a smile as a plan formed, a drop of blood splashed on his hand from the ceiling. "What the?"

Getting up, he started to crawl out from the jeep to look for the source of the blood.

Back in the attack helicopter Poison-1, "Arisa, Lady Akiko demands that we land and try... Hey, they are down there too! Arisa, you just shot at Lady Akiko's son!"

Arisa was sweating bullets now and hands were shaking at the controls of the attack helicopter. She swiftly lowered it to the ground and looked back at her partner. Her voice was quivering, "I'll stay here."

Kyouko jumped out of the idling helicopter and made a dash for the junk pile. She threw her helmet back at the helicopter on the ground in her haste.

Kyuusaku was puffing on his cigar trying to administer any aid to the short old man. He looked up at Kyouko and shook his head. Remembering back to his previous idea in the jeep, Kyuusaku grabbed Kyouko's hand. "Help me with Ryuu, the cat, the old man, and the android. We have to get back to my lab at MHI if we have a chance of saving him and making sure Ryuu has a merry Christmas."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"HURRY! We only have 24 hours if we are to somehow bring them back..." then in a lower voice Kyuusaku mummered, "in one form or another..." then back to yelling, "HURRY!"

"YES SIR!" Kyouko took off her jacket and wrapped it around the old man's body and put it in back storage. Several cases of bullets were thrown out to make room. Rushing back, a crying Ryuu was cradling a dead cat to his chest. Blood was starting to soak into his coat. Kyouko initially panicked thinking that her lady's son had been shot, but those fears were quickly put to rest with reassurance from Ryuu. Helping carry the heavy android, all three made it to the helicopter.

"Ryuu, hand me the cat. You will have to stay here with Miss Kyouko while we try and save this old man and the cat. Just you wait, I'll make sure you have a merry Christmas." Kyuusaku closed the hatch and signaled to Arisa to make due-haste for the labs.

Back on the ground, Arisa put her hand on Ryuu's shoulder. It was shrugged off quickly. "Don't touch me. This is all your fault. Now if you don't want my mom to hear about all this, you'll find some way to get me back with my dad."

Arisa felt around in her flight suit and pulled out a 5000 yen bill. "Let's call a cab." Thinking to herself, there goes this month's grocery money! Cry...

Half an hour later, Ryuu was reunited with his dad and mom. Around them was an elaborate lab, with pieces of wooden crate busted open in the corner. "No, no, no. I will not allow it Kyuusaku. First you run off with my son and my grandfather's property, then you want to use it for a Christmas present? Have you lost your mind!"

"Akiko, dearest. You have to understand. Ryuu had found a pet and I was thinking about letting him keep it. Then all of a sudden your assistants kill the cat. Now in all this mess an innocent was killed in the process. I can probably save both of them, but only if I use the technology that I developed in my time here. You are lucky I had a second exact robot android hidden away just in case. I'm sure your grandfather would agree with me if he found out that someone was killed in the midst of all this," Kyuusaku quieted down as soon as he noticed his son enter the lab. "Now, run along with Ryuu while I get my assistants. This is going to take a miracle to pull off."

The night passed. Akiko entered the lab to find an amazing site. Fabricators, wires, welders, drills, and clothing fabric were spread out everywhere. Against the far wall was a hospital stretcher with a white sheet over it. It had two small unmoving bumps under it. What really amazed her was what was on the main lab tables. Two well developed attractive teenage girls, both about age 17. Both were sleeping soundly on the tables and fully clothed in form fitting spandex uniforms.

Akiko walked over to the first girl. She had long flowing purple hair that went past her hips. Going over the second, she was the first's exact twin only with blue hair. Not seeing anything that was gruesome, Akiko called back. "Ryuunosuke honey! You can come in!"

Her yell woke up her husband, "Akiko, sweety, would you try to keep it down. I've been up all night." Seeing Ryuu, Kyuusaku perked up, "Ryuu! Come here. I would like to give you your Christmas present."

"Dad? Christmas present?" Ryuu was looking around. His eyes fell on the hospital stretcher then went back to his dad, "You weren't able to save them, were you dad."

"Not save them! Ryuu, your dad is a genius. I not only saved the cat, but gave her a brand new body. Now you have a sister in a way too. Surprise!" Kyuusaku threw his arms in the direction of the purple haired girl. "Ryuunosuke, I present to you your Christmas present."

"Wow dad! This is great!" Ryuu ran up to the girl and examined her face. "What's her name?"

Scratching his chin, Kyuusaku thought for a second, "I haven't really given her a name. Technically she is still a cat, and since she is your pet, you should name her."

"Really? So cool!" Ryuu closed his eyes for a big and thought hard. Remembering back to the cat in the alley what he would have named her, he made his decision, "Nuku Nuku. I name her Nuku Nuku."

"That's great Ryuu. And since she is part of the family now too, I'll give her a family name of Atsuko Natsume. We can just call her Nuku Nuku though for now," Kyuusaku laughed. "I'm such a genius!"

Akiko coughed into her fist to bring attention to herself. Behind her Arisa and Kyouko, both looked rather nervous – probably after a long night of being yelled at by Lady Akiko. "Well, Kyuusaku. What about the old man. Is he... err... she... whatever going to live?"

"I think so. The procedure was considerably harder to do on a human, but I was able to manage. I still don't know his... her... whatever's name yet. Any luck digging through the military's database that MHI has access to?"

Akiko shook her head negative. As she was about to speak, the blue haired "reborn" Happosai began to stir. "Guess we'll find out soon enough. At least now she doesn't have to worry about dieing from a heart attack. The shock alone may have killed her old body."

"Ugh... what happened..."

**------------------------**

Happosai heard voices around. The conversation was drifting a bit from what sounded like a parent and kid naming a pet cat, then finally the conversation drifted to him. When they mentioned a conversion process that was performed on him, Happosai began to take note if he was indeed intact. Last he remembered was getting shot in the chest. What he found shocked him, there were close to zero reserves of ki and he couldn't feel some parts of his body. Still, he somehow knew they were there. Trying to feel out his fingers to get a better idea for what may be wrong brought up some sort of superimposed computer display.

Wait a sec... my eyes are still closed. What is going on here?

Deciding to play dumb and get the feel for his 'hosts', Happosai decided to act waking up.

"Ugh... what happened?"

"Hey dad, the other one is awake! Can I name her too?" Ryuu ran over to the table Happosai was laying on.

Kyuusaku patted his son's head, "Sorry Ryuu, this one isn't a cat like Nuku Nuku. She is a human being."

By this time, Happosai was sitting up right and still had eyes closed. They were opened briefly but had to be closed almost immediately from the sudden light. Strangely, coordination was also way off.

Akiko came up to the table, "So, what is your name?"

Happosai's eyes opened slowly and looking in the direction of the lady's voice. Strangely when greeted with the lovely sight of Akiko, Happosai didn't feel the overwhelming urge to pounce. "Happo-WHAT THE HEY?"

The higher pitched female voice that she answered in surprised Happosai. Now looking down at her body, Happosai followed the slender arms that attached to a very well endowed chest. Eyes went down past the stomach, curves of a slender waist and hips, then down long legs.

Sighing, Happosai looked back up at the lady, "Don't tell me, Jusenkyo right? At least you picked a good one."

Akiko and Kyuusaku asked at the same time, "Jusenkyo?"

Again, Happosai was given another surprise. "Wait, you mean you didn't splash me with some water and change me in to a girl?" By this time Happosai was stretching her arms and admiring how her chest moved.

"Uhm, no. I hope this doesn't come as a shock, but you are now in a robot body. You were shot and your body was dead. The only way we could think to save you was to transfer your brain into Android NK113 Unit B," Kyuusaku explained. "Now, the procedure involved transporting your body to this facility, then using a combination of nitrohyd-"

The explanation was quickly silenced with a punch from lady Akiko. "Can it Kyuusaku. You still aren't off the hook of stealing my grandfather's property and dear little Ryuu. Half your babble the young lady wouldn't understand. What did you say your name was again?"

The mention of being young finally was the last straw for Happosai. 300 years he was still bouncing along, but he was feeling age creep in. Having his youth back, in any form, is a divine gift. "Happosai is my name. Well, I guess you had to make due. I forgive you."

Akiko asked, "You mean you aren't mad? Not even a tiny bit?" Internally, Akiko was wishing she had the foresight to bring the lawyer team down to prepare a form clearing MHI of any wrong doing.

"Nope. I'm young again, and besides, you gave me this hot body to check out all the pretty ladies in the public baths!" Looking around, Happosai noticed the stretcher in the corner. Pointing to it, "That my body I take it?"

Akiko and Kyuusaku nodded.

"I know a certain goddess that might be able to use it or at least disposal. Mind wrapping it up and helping me take it to her? She would probably like to know what happened to me."

The group passed off the goddess comment as probably being his wife and would want to have a funeral for the body.

Nuku Nuku stirred a bit on the other side of the room and curled up, still sleeping. Kyuusaku scratched his chin, "Well, looks like the procedure was a success and we need to help out the two new girls. Ryuu, mind staying here with your mother and watching Nuku Nuku? I'll be back after I take care of some business with Happosai."

Stepping over to Happosai, Kyuusaku helped her on to the floor. It was cold concrete, but without feeling in her toes it didn't register. In fact the meager clothing that Happosai wore didn't feel chilly in the least. Her balance was noticeably off and needed to be stabilized by a hand around her shoulder. Akiko was slightly miffed at the gesture, but calmed down when Happosai put her hand on Kyuusaku's shoulder instead.

As they left Ryuu waved and yelled out, "See you later dad, mom! Good luck Happo-chan!"

Walking down the corridor, they were joined by Kyouko. Her face was still kind of pale from the chewing out her boss gave three hours prior. "Lady Akiko instructed me to give you a lift in the company limo anywhere you wish " She then added in a mumble, "on my dime."

Kyuusaku smirked, he knew what had transpired while operating. Steel doors and concrete walls still weren't enough to damper down his wife when she was really angry. The three left MHI headquarters and drove to the address provided by Happosai. The ride went extremely fast with the limo changing the traffic lights in advance with its advanced computer system.

When they pulled up to the alley way, Kyouko let out a gasp. "This place! I thought it was shut down a few years ago! The owner hadn't shown up for 5 years and we didn't want to spend any more resources keeping it in good condition." Turning to Happosai, "So you the owner now?"

"Nope! Urd-chan is. She should be right inside."

Kyouko groaned, "Great, now this. Hopefully she won't be too upset and won't switch to our competitors since MHI didn't follow through with the contract. She has some of the most advanced potions and chemicals. We still don't know how 90 of them work."

Walking was becoming more comfortable for Happosai and took some small steps forward, "You probably won't figure them out. Her methods are out of this world."

Stepping up to the door, Happosai knocked. Kyuusaku and Kyouko were looking over her shoulder. There was no answer for a bit, so Happosai knocked again only much harder. Underestimating her strength, her fist went through the door.

"Hehe, oops."

Urd growled at being disturbed. One moment she was having a pleasant dream of getting Belldandy successfully hooked up with Keichi, next the shop was being burgled.

A girl's voice called out. "Hello?"

"Think they'll get the drop on me. Bashing down the door and calling out... eh? Burglars don't say hello." Urd finally got to the door. It only had a fist sized hole in it, which was impressive considering it was about an inch of solid oak.

Unlocking it, Urd opened the door. "Well, what do you want? Its almost morning you know."

The blue haired girl waved, "Heya Urd! This may be a surprise, but this is your pal Happosai!"

"Eh?"

Kyuusaku raised an eyebrow. This... very well endowed and young woman... was Happosai's wife? Something didn't feel right, but if the old gizzer could land a beautiful wife like her who was he to judge. Coughing into his fist, he took Urd's question as his cue to speak up. "Perhaps I can explain. Happosai had a bit of an accident and his body was dieing. We had to work fast to save him, and the only thing we could do was place his mind into one of my android inventions. We brought his body for you. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband."

Kyuusaku and Kyouko bowed deeply to Urd. The expression on Urd's face was one of worry, changed to confusion, then to a scowl. "You think I'm that old pervert's wife? Ha! I'd rather debug the entire Yggdrasil system with an abacus than be his wife! But glad SHE's alright. Just put the body behind the counter. I'll deal with it in the morning. Well, I'm going back to bed."

Stretching, Urd yawned and went into the back room. Sailor Saturn was still on the couch asleep.

Turning to her guests, Happosai shrugged, "Well, there ya have it. Guess we'll bring my body in and I'll see you later this week." The rest of the time was in silence as they moved the body bag. "Well, guess I'll see you all later! Maybe later this week we can get together again. Bye!"

The door was shut suddenly, the hole patched over by a big board that looked completely out of place. Kyouko and Kyuusaku shrugged, returning to the limo. As the two drove back to the MHI headquarters. Initially the conversation was silent till Kyuusaku spoke up.

"Well, that went well."

Kyouko didn't comment at first and the uncomfortable silence ground out for five blocks. "Went well? This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't of gone against Lady Akiko's wishes."

Fists clenched, "Wasn't it a bit overkill to use the Poison One attack helicopter?"

"Poison One is the best choice for urban choices. Did you think MHI wouldn't bring to bare its best and brightest to bring back what you stole?"

At this point they pulled into the MHI parking garage. Kyuusaku got out and slammed the door, "That is no reason to fire on my son with what you call the best and brightest of MHI. In my opinion, that was very stupid."

Kyouko didn't respond to this. He was right, but she still held faith in Lady Akiko's judgment to use Poison One. A door slammed behind her, signaling Kyuusaku's exit. She let out a sigh and pulled out her cell phone. "Hello, Arisa? Let's go home. See you in a bit."

Back in the lab, Kyuusaku was greeted by the sight of Ryuu playing tag with Asuko – aka Nuku Nuku. Nuku Nuku was still very much a cat, despite having a teenager's body. She jumped all over the lab on all fours, knocking things over and making a general mess. The mess didn't matter, what did was that his son was happy.

As he watched the game of tag from the corners, Kyuusaku realized the happiness wouldn't last. MHI would want to recoup their lost hardware from Nuku Nuku and find out how she works. Not only would MHI reobtain their war toy, but Ryuu would lose his pet... sister? Eventually Nuku Nuku would learn how to speak and act as a human being. Nuku Nuku was more than a Christmas present, and needed to be protected. That meant leaving MHI once more and hopefully succeeding this time.

"Hey Ryuu! Come here with Nuku!" Kyuusaku smiled, "Grab your stuff."

------- Later that morning at the potion shop ---------

Happosai woke up slowly. Despite having a robot body, she still felt sleepy. Stretching, a crash was heard behind her. Crinking her neck to look behind, her fist was completely through the wall. "Ah cripes. I need to work on my coordination if I'm going to train my heir."

In the room right the fist went through, Happosai's fist had crashed into Urd's head. A large bump was felt on her head, tender and tingling. "Happy!" Urd was in her black, lacy nighty that just barely covered the important bits. Getting up she didn't bother changing into something more decent for going around the shop. Throwing the dividing doorway, she stomped out into the shop. "What do you think you are doing? I just fixed up this place."

"Don't worry bout it. You can fix it up with your magic." Happosai stepped through another doorway into the kitchen. "By the way, love the nighty!"

Looking down Urd, admired her choice of clothing, "Why thank you, picked this up in Sailor Moon's world-hey! Don't change the subject mister!"

"I'm a miss now for the time being!" Happy called out over her shoulder.

"Whatever." Waving her hands, lightening coalesced into a hammer and nails. Stomping into the kitchen area she put them on the counter. "Here ya go. Fixed with magic. Now get to work. I don't like being woken up with a fist to the head."

Happosai was surprised at the outburst, then went back to digging for something to bite and completely forgot about the hole. Perhaps the heir to Anything Goes could take it on as a training exercise. Back to the order of food, everything in the kitchen was empty. All that was left was some leftover Chinese takeout that Urd had apparently ordered while he was ramping about getting shot. Grabbing the box, she dug in and was finished. Afterward, she wondered why a robot body needed to eat or felt hungry.

Going back out into the shop, Happosai saw Urd setting up for business. "So what exactly do you sell?"

Urd rummaged in a box for a minute and pulled out a bottle of blue liquid. Handing it to Happosai she explained, "Potions, formulas and programs. Not the usual stuff that isn't allowed, but just the small ones."

"Like what?"

"This. Changes a person's hair instantly without dye to blue. It works for about a month then wears off. Since you already have blue hair, probably won't hurt to use." Urd handed it to Happosai expecting her to drink it. She was really curious to how it would effect Happosai's robot body.

Instead, Happosai placed it on the counter top. "No thanks. Had enough fun with potions and magic in my day." Pausing, Happosai contemplated what she would do for the day. "Say, would you have something that could wake up Saturn? I'd like to start training her."

"Certainly. The antidote is a simple drop on her lips." A simple flick of her wrist, and an eye dropper appeared in midair. Happosai grabbed it and went into the back room.

Saturn was still in her sailor fuku and sleeping peacefully on the couch. A slight urge to brush a hand over her assets came, then gone just as quickly. Happosai shook her head and knocked her head, "She is your heir, keep it together Happy." Leaning over, the eyedropper hovered over Saturn's lips. Just as the clear liquid touched, Saturn jerked awake with eyes wide open.

"Ahhh!" Saturn scrambled out of the couch and pushed Happy to the ground. 'Where am I? One moment I was fighting, next I blacked out.' Her next thought she punctuated out loud, and by summoning her pole arm at Happosai's throat. "and who are you?"

Now this Happosai wasn't expecting. She was expecting more of a gradual awakening, not instant. Thumping herself mentally, 'Baka, this is magic we're dealing with here. Need to expect the unexpected. Especially as the Grandmaster of Anything Goes.'

Shifting her feet silently into a better defense position, Happosai prepared to move in case Saturn decided to make good on her threat. Thankfully Saturn didn't notice. "Eh, I found you in an alley. Some man was carrying you out of a portal but I got rid of him." Thinking to herself, 'Well, I did sorta get rid of -him-.'

Saturn looked the blue haired girl up and down. She looked friendly enough, and only a bit tense with having a glaive at her throat. Pulling the weapon back, "Sorry, I didn't know if you were an enemy or not. If you wanted to kill me, you would have done so by now. You know what happened to the rest of the senshi?"

Happosai shook her head, "Don't know. To my knowledge there are no senshi in Japan. All I know is you came out of a portal."

This bit of news hit Saturn heavily, and she sat down on the bed. "So I'm all alone."

Seeing her heir dip deeper into depression, Happosai slowly sat beside her held onto Saturn's hands. "No, you aren't. I only have known you a short time but I'm here for you. I'm new in town too and could use a friend." Internally, all this mushy stuff was eating Happosai. She wanted to just get down to business, but without some level of trust the training couldn't begin. "Since you might be staying here a while, do you have a different set of clothes? I couldn't figure out how to put you in something a bit more comfortable for sleeping or going around."

Saturn thought for a second, "Ok, but don't tell anyone who I am. Since I might be here a while I may as well be truthful." Saturn stood and faced Happosai, who remained seated. Closing her eyes, the transformation effect passed by in two hoops that started at her feet and went to her head. The first hoop removed her sailor outfit, leaving her briefly in her birthday suit. The next hoop passed by and left her in the clothing she had on before transformation – a yellow sunflower dress.

Hotaru smiled, "Well, here I am. You can call me Hotaru Tomoe. What's your name?"

Urd poked her head in at that moment. She had felt the magical transformation, then replaced with the almost normal feeling of a teenager. Almost like the external senshi projection and outfit was shunted to another dimension with just a thread tied to Hotaru and the henshin rod to call it back.

Noticing the movement in the doorway, Hotaru turned. "Hello. You must be a friend of... sorry I don't know your name still."

Happosai almost blurted out his real name, but thought better of it. She might put two and two together and resume trying to kill him/her. "Eh... Ranko. Ranko Saotome is my name."

Urd raised and eyebrow at this. "You can call me Urd..." she paused as she realized she didn't have a last name. She also realized she couldn't come up with one as a lie, since she couldn't lie.

"She is my distant relative. A Saotome also and can be trusted. She may look young but she's really much older than she looks." Happosai added.

Bristling, Urd came in and bonked 'Ranko' on the head. "-Ranko-, respect your elders. You are a -young- girl and need to act as such." Internally Urd was starting to chuckle at Happosai's predicament. The old lecher seems to have adapted well so far, but the fun is just beginning. Maybe she could try and hook her up with a boyfriend for giggles and get Hotaru to play along with the gag. This is supposed to be Happosai's punishment to solve a few problems in the cosmos, may as well make it interesting over the next few hundred years.

"Now get ready. You've got school. I've called in some favors and had you and Hotaru registered."

Double yells, "EH?"

Ranko stood, "I'm the grandmaster of anything goes! I have better things to do."

Hotaru was in similar agreement, "I need to get back home! The more I stay here the longer that old pervert might endanger the future."

A smirk emerged, "School? Below you Ranko? I think you would see the wisdom of accompanying your student all the time. This world isn't completely safe as you just found out. Think of it as a challenge" The smirk widened into a full smile when the grandmaster bought it. 'Just as I thought, the old pervert gets a taste of his youth back and starts acting like one of his former pupils.'

"And Hotaru, you need to continue your education. There is no telling how long we will be here. And if what you say about being another world is true, time may pass differently here. It may be one second here is a hundred years there, or the other way around." Hotaru's shoulder's slumped signaling her submission to the idea. "Now that it is settled, here's your clothes and bags. Get going! Might make it for afternoon classes." Two packages were tossed at the two, with a map and enrollment papers strapped to the top.

As the two changed (with Ranko sneaking in looks at Hotaru in her undergarments), both were thinking totally different thoughts. Ranko was planning ahead to what the day may bring and how to turn this into training for Hotaru. She was also planning revenge on Urd and mumbling different plans of attack, "Demon summon... na. Moxibustion point... perhaps but she uses magic..."

Hotaru was silent and was afraid of what the new school would bring. At her old school students already made fun of her, or even feared her. Her confidence levels dropped further. This change in attitude would have been felt immediately by Happosai in the old body. In the robot shell, ki detection is much harder.. The two left the shop in silence and were walking toward the highschool. Hotaru's aura of depression, while not visible yet, continued to grow. Finally Happosai sensed it, more like an itch that barely registered in her mind, and more closely examined Hotaru. She may now be devoid of most ki senses, but body language can be sensed just by applying 300 years of life knowledge.

"I sense you are troubled."

"I have problems... my special abilities may cause trouble at school. I'm sorta a freak." Hotaru's gloom leaked into her voice.

"Ha! Just wait till I set them straight. Ole Hap-" Ranko caught herself, "Ranko handle them. I'm not quite normal myself." To demonstrate, Ranko jumped up and grabbed an item from the third story of a house that they were passing by. Granted most of the ability was due to a robot body, but with the right ki practice a live body could. Different methods, same result.

Wide eyes, Hotaru clapped. Her gloom was lifting rapidly. "Wow! Amazing!"

"I would like to teach you how to do stuff like that. Even without transforming." Ranko grinned and started walking to school again.

"Uhm..."

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you going to return that apartment's bra set?"

Looking down at her bag, Ranko realized she had habitually stuck the bras in with the rest of the books. "Ooops, how did that happen?"

When they finally arrived at the school, lunch was just starting. Hotaru was very winded, reaffirming what Ranko had known about her physical condition. They went to the administration office and presented their enrollment papers to the secretary. "Welcome Ranko and Hotaru. Your test scores place you in class C2. One of the instructors for that class is temporary, but you should do fine."

Hotaru raised an eyebrow at the test scores comment. She doesn't remember taking any test... 'Just who is this Urd person? Either she is a hacker of sorts or part of some secret organization'

-On the other side of the city, Urd sneezed twice.-

After tracking down the class, the two girls went into the cafeteria and sat down to eat their bentos. Other students snuck in looks from time to time out of curiosity. Most of the comments from the guys were about Ranko and if she was available. Ten minutes of this later, one of the ring leaders from the gossiping crowd sat down between the two girls.

"Hey. You must be new here. My name is Toji. Your's?"

Ranko took another bite, then grumbled out "Ranko." She was more interested in getting to know the pretty ladies than some upstart. If he continued to bother she would have to remove the source, painfully.

Hotaru was scared of getting to involved in any social groups, since that would lead to more chances of them finding out her freakish abilities. "Uhm... Hotaru. We can find our way around fine."

The silence that followed grew to be uncomfortable, so Toji left. No others came to introduce themselves during lunch. As everyone left for class, the two girls sat up and followed at the tail end of the class. Hotaru's fear was growing each step they took to the class. Ranko was indifferent, more annoyed with having to go through the experience known as school. She was more interested in trying to identify the different brands of undergarments just by the way the other girls walked or held themselves.

In the class, the instructor was waiting and counted off all the students as they entered. He halted the two new girls as they entered. They presented the enrollment papers and stood at the front of the class.

"Everyone, we have two new students joining us today. Why don't you introduce yourselves?"

"Ranko Saotome. I'm the grandmaster of anything goes martial arts." Ranko didn't bother to bow to the class.

"Hotaru Tomoe. I'm... uhm... a student of Ranko," she then gave a short bow.

"Thank you Ranko and Hotaru. You can sit in the two free seats near the door." The teacher dismissed them and began the first session of the day – english.

Ranko wasn't paying attention to the class, and was more interested in the group of girls that was going down the hallway in their gym clothes.

"Ranko, would you please translate page 50 for the class?" the teacher stepped in front of Ranko with an open book. He was obviously annoyed with Ranko's inattention.

"Fine." Happosai stood up, grabbed the book, then read in perfect english. After finishing, she handed the book back and sat down grumbling. "Geez, any 200 year old would have learned something like english. Now... magic incantations... that's a challenge."

The teacher caught portions of the mumbling and wanted to punish Ranko for talking back, but the perfect translation still stunned him. "Uhm, thank you. Let's review the different portions of that page and why they are structured that way in english..."

The rest of the english session went normally, ie the rest of the class participated while Ranko slept uninterrupted.

Next session was mathematics, which Hotaru knew well. Ranko on the other hand...

"Why would I need to know that?! I've gotten by just fine this century!"

"Go stand in the hall!"

"Excellent, at least I'll have a bit more excitement out there than in here," Ranko stood up and went out the door. As an exercise to get used to the new body, she started balancing the buckets on her feet. The teacher inside didn't notice, but the passing vice principal did notice and didn't appreciate being given a free show of Ranko's white panties.

"Miss, please come with me. I know you are new to this school, but we need to have a discussion."

Ranko put the buckets down without spilling, and followed. Behind the vice principal's back she was smirking, thinking now would be a good chance to set the record straight with the school administration. In the office, it appeared to be the hulk vs little girl. The vice principal was an ex-american football player. Impressive for one of Japanese ancestry. Ranko was rather tall because of her robot frame, but still paled in a size comparison to the man behind the oak desk fortress. Ranko didn't feel intimidated in the least.

"Now miss..."

"Ranko Saotome, and I feel we need to come to an understanding."

"Exactly, there are rules to be followed by those that are here to learn."

Ranko smiled a sinister grin and stood. "I feel the same way. Now, I would like to put the record straight. I am not here to learn. I am here to teach a future generation my art and I won't be deviated from my goals or there may be consequences."

The vice principal was taken aback, the upstart blue haired girl here was implying a threat. "I'll call you, just what sort of consequences would there be?"

Ranko stood, "You seem to be in good shape. As grandmaster of the anything goes school of martial arts, I challenge you to a match. The loser will follow the rules set by the winner."

The hulk didn't think there was any way he could lose, "How about we have the match in front of the school? That way we can insure that there is no doubt in anyone's mind who the winner is."

"Right after school on the football field?"

"Agreed."

Ranko was dismissed and returned to class, a large grin of satisfaction on her face. The rest of the math session went uneventfully. At the end of the session, teachers began to change rooms and announcement came over the intercomm. "A voluntary attendance special event will take place after school on the football field. Ranko Saotome and Vice Principal Tsuka will be having a martial arts match."

To say the class was surprised would be an understatement. Nearly every student rushed to Ranko and bombarded her with questions, "Are you insane?" "Why are you having a match?" "Any last words?"

Ranko held up her hand to silence the mob, "We are having the match to settle some differences. Winner gets to set rules that the other will abide by. No more information till after the match."

The mob spread out and the prize of the match spread like wildfire. If the match terms wanted to be backed out, it was too late now.

Physical education class was the last session for Ranko and Hotaru. Ranko was positively looking forward to it. Hotaru was loathing it. The class filed out for the different locker rooms.

Ranko was in awe that she was finally in a girl's locker room, with girls in it different stages of undress, and not being chased or beat up. As Ranko took in the sights and flesh, a thought occurred to her. The thrill of the chase was gone. Half of the reason to collecting those silky darlings was remembering the chase after the fact, or the deviousness one had to go through. Also, the ki absorbed was a boost, but now she wasn't feeling a thing even right in the middle of a dozen teenage girls. Sighing, she resumed changing and resigned to just cataloging the different brands of lingerie.

Hotaru's reaction to being in the locker room was different. Where Ranko was in the thick of it, she was on edge avoiding people. She changed into her clothes and tried to be noticed as little as possible. One of the other students that had finished changing into the blue and white gym uniform approached Hotaru with a friendly smile.

"Hi! The instructor said last time we were going to be playing dodgeball. I hope you are on my team if you have been training with Ranko. She seems very strong, especially to challenge the vice principal," she then extended her hand, "My name is Mina."

"Uhm, hi. I'm not very good. It would probably be best for me to sit out."

Ranko overheard her pupil say this and decided to try and squash her self confidence problem. Her old heir had the problem of too much over confidence, this one needs a bit of a push. Otherwise, Hotaru has the energy reserves to dwarf Ranma. "Now, I've seen you do more remarkable things than dodgeball. Why, with the right training, I think you could by the end of the year take on the entire football and baseball teams in dodgeball just by yourself."

The locker room grew quiet, looking at Ranko and Hotaru. Hotaru was sweating bullets, while Ranko was confused. "What? I know what my student's potential is. As a grandmaster, I don't lie about things like that."

Students filed out, but the resident class sports club president stayed behind. "We'll see about that. I think we'll take your challenge. At the end of the year we'll put you to the test."

Ranko silently nodded, then forgot about the challenge and her proclamation. Hotaru didn't however and knew she was on a timetable. She just hoped she didn't come out with too many broken bones. In her mind, she had already lost.

Outside on the field, it was a coed event. Team captains alternated picking teammates from the different gender pools. Ranko and Hotaru ended up on the same team, with two of the athletic allstars on the other team. The team captain that was on Ranko's team was taking a gamble that hoped would pay off by picking the wildcards.

"Rules are simple, catch the ball and the thrower is out. Get tagged with a ball without catching it, you are out. You can also deflect balls with a ball held in your hand. You may not cross the middle divider. Begin!"

Both sides ran at the balls in the middle of the field, grabbed the balls and began the barrage. Ranko had reached the stack of balls first and grabbed two. She leaped back and dipped into the Anything Goes back of tricks.

"Anything goes attack! Dodge ball return-to-sender!" Spun around rapidly like a top, appearing like a tornado. Her yell attracted the attention of the other team, so she had 10 different balls launched dead on to her. Instead of hitting her, they were deflected back by the two balls in her hands. They were launched back a great speed, whistling through the air and impacted the surprised attackers. Only the two sports stars were able to dodge in time.

Ranko stopped spinning, not feeling dizzy in the least since her robot body wasn't effected. "Not bad. 12 on our side, 2 left on theirs. Time to finish this!"

Jumping, she launched up 10 meters. If her previous feats hadn't been a surprise enough, everyone was shocked still. The same thought was going through their minds, "WHOA!"

At the top of her arc, she reared back and torpedoed the balls at the 2 open jawed competitors. Both were easily hit square in the chest knocked flat on their backs. They skid another four feet before coming to a stop, gasping after all the air had been knocked out of them. The instructor winced hoping the bruise wouldn't impede their performance in sports.

"Eh... north team is the winner. Ranko, mind sitting out the next match? I don't think a few members on the other team will be up in time."

Ranko smirked and went to sit down on the sidelines. Cupping her hands, "You can do it Hotaru!"

Hotaru groaned, "I can't do this." Never the less, she had agreed to be taught by Ranko and would try.

"I've seen you help your friends, just think of them! Think of this as another challenge for the team." Unlike the previous cheer, this cheer did have a noticeable effect.

The balls were lined up and the whistle blew. Hotaru didn't waste time trying to get to the balls. The other team was just as fast, and they were at the balls in the same time frame. At point blank range the volleys were launched. Her confidence level dropped suddenly at the opposition, and Hotaru dived to the side in fright.

"Saturn is made of sterner stuff than that! You've faced down things that would crush any!"

Memories of previous fights lingered, and she rolled to avoid a ball by just inches. The fight was fast and furious, but it was taking a while to finish. Hotaru's limited endurance ran out, till finally she was out of steam. Her opponents noticed and launched a combined volley at her.

Hotaru's eyes grew wide with the incoming storm and raised her arms in defense. Briefly her Saturn symbol lit on her forehead, and a forcefield materialized. Hotaru was completely unaware of this, only waiting for the balls to hit. Ranko had a big goofy grin on her face. The rest of the class was shocked, not knowing what happened. Thankfully they only had noticed the shield, not the Saturn symbol. Not feeling the balls hit at the same time, Hotaru slowly let her arms down. In relaxing, the shield dispersed so she was totally unaware it existed. Around balls where rolling away as if they were blocked by someone. Then she noticed the entire class staring at her in silence.

Immediately one thought entered Hotaru's mind, -Oh no, they see I'm some sort of freak.-

She ran and Ranko followed. The chase ended up in the locker room where Ranko cornered her heir.

"Leave me alone! Now you see what type of freak I am."

"Nonsense! The only freak around here is that old bitty in class E4 wearing hot pants. It is those abilities and who you are why I want to train you." After a pause Ranko added "and I'd still like to be your friend."

On this, both magical-girl and pervert-turned-robot-girl thought...

-Wow, maybe I can make it here. Everyone likes Ranko and she likes me.-

-A friend? Everyone is usually out to kill me. This requires more thought.-

Ranko held out a hand, "What do you say, ready to get back out there?"

Hotaru nodded and accepted the invitation. When they returned to the gym, Ranko's and Hotaru's team surrounded them. "Welcome to the team!" "You two rock!" "I'm glad I picked you." "Can I have your three sizes?" -pause- "Ow ow ow ow! Stop hitting me!"

The class finished up without much problem. Hotaru didn't produce the shield anymore, and Ranko sat on the sidelines while the other team's all stars recovered. The bell rang finally and the class went to the locker rooms to clean up. Except Ranko and Hotaru. They stayed for the challenge. Hotaru would sit it out, but was instructed to pay attention and try to learn from the experience. Slowly the borders of the field gathered an audience. Hotaru felt out of place in the middle of it with Ranko so she moved to the nearest sideline.

Tsuka arrived with a sizable contingent of school staff behind him. Most had a smile on their face, but the physical education instructors that had witnessed Ranko's performance on the field were worried. They hoped when Ranko won she wouldn't actually follow through with any rule changes. "Ok Miss Saotome, I'm here for the match and ready. Are you?" Tsuka stretched, removing the top of his business suit. The white collared shirt underneath hinted at muscles honed by years of training.

"I'm ready. I just hope you are ready to accept my terms after you lose. You have a referee picked? I would also like my student to judge the match so we can insure one judge doesn't bias the match."

The school principal stepped forward, "As much as I don't approve of violence, my associate insists this is necessary. I'll be acting as his judge." The principal then stepped forward onto the field. He obviously wasn't trained in the martial arts, his skills being more in the academics.

The match was setup, both combatants were in ready stances. The principal called out the terms of victory, "Knockout or by having the loser verbally concede the match. Begin!"

Ranko stood there, smirking. "Come and try me. You're two hundred years too young to even face me."

"Two hundred years? We'll just see about that. Figure you would be a dried up mummy by now." Tuska charged forward, hoping to scare the girl and have her give up without landing a blow.

Instead, Ranko held out a hand and flicked it just as he was about to grapple her. The intended effect was to be flung away as had been done several times prior with Ranma and the smoke pipe. It was harmlessly absorbed by Tuska and Ranko was slammed in the side to the ground. She rolled and leaped back up.

"Curses, my butterfly kiss technique is useless. Should have known without ki this might happen." Getting into a ready stance, Ranko prepared to go at it the old fashioned way. "You hit like a girl. I was just trying to get a feel for just how hard the locals hit. Now to show you what a grandmaster can do."

Jumping high in the air Ranko looked like she was preparing a jump kick. Tuska smirked and prepared to grab his opponent. At the last moment, she flipped and grabbed Tuska's arms. The flip continued through and Tuska was tossed into the air. Everyone's heads shot up into the air in unison. He arched through the air, flailing wildly. Everyone's mouths hung open as they followed his decent. Finally, he made a painful belly flop in the pool causing everyone to cringe. When the spectators arrived at the pool's edge, the vice-principal was crawling slowly out. His entire front was a bright red.

Halfway out, he collapsed on the cement, "I yield," then passed out.

The principal checked vital signs and breathed a sigh of relief, "Uhm... the winner is Ranko."

Hotaru shook her self free of her shock, "Uh. Ya. Ranko wins."

An hour later in the principal's office they assembled. Ranko, Hotaru and Tuska were seated in front of Principal Yama. Tuska was still resembling a beach ball, very very red on one side. "I don't know what to say. I'm disappointed in all of you. First day and somehow we have an grudge match in front of the school. Not only that, but now the authority of the entire staff is undermined. Ranko, I don't know what you were trying to accomplish, but I will expect your cooperation. Hotaru, while you are just a bystander, you have somehow become involved by being Ranko's student. Then finally, Mr. Tsuka. This will be coming out in your review before the school board. I only hope you can piece this disaster together."

"Mr. Yama, I would like to offer a solution." Ranko leaned forward, "All that the students know is the winner would set rules. As the winner, these are my rules. Perhaps they will help what you think is a bad situation. I want to be acknowledged as the grandmaster of anything goes martial arts, and instructor of a martial arts class. You can then declare the match as just a test of my abilities for the position."

Tsuka shot out of his chair, "Hey now! You aren't licensed to teach here! It would be against the law." He then collapsed back into his seat, gritting his teeth when his injuries made themselves known at his outburst.

"Simple, one of the instructors is there to 'teach', I'm there to do the actual instruction."

Yama leaned back in thought, "Ok, you have considerable skill in martial arts. Teaching a class that would help us gain ground in the competitions would be helpful. I take it though that isn't all."

"I would also like to be exempt from all other classes as an instructor." Ranko fully expected the twit before her to give in.

"Absolutely out of the question. As an instructor with a student, I'm sure you can understand them learning the basics and the instructor providing an example for the pupil. If you skip out, Hotaru won't see the wisdom in following your teachings." Yama inwardly was laughing. Having Hotaru here to witness this was definitely playing into his hands.

"Uh... I suppose I should attend class with my student."

Yama typed out a contract on the computer, and printed out one copy. "Then we have the terms. Everyone will sign here saying they agree that, one, Ranko Saotome will cooperate with the physical education instructors to teach a new martial arts class. Two, Ranko Saotome and Hotaru Tomoe will attend class to set a good example. Finally, Vice Principal Tuska and Principal Yama will assist Miss Saotome in her efforts to teach."

Ranko reluctantly agreed. It wasn't the terms she wanted, but it would do for now. Perhaps later she could swindle the terms into something more favorable.

All parties signed, and copies were distributed in the halls. The master copy was kept in a safe in the records office.

On the way home, Hotaru and Ranko were silent. Each one was mulling over the day's events. Ahead of them, an explosion shook the ground. Electricity arced between the buildings, leaving scorch marks in their passing. Another explosion followed, this time a body flying out holding a wrapped bundle.

"See ya later Urd! Thanks for the present!" The woman then disappeared in a flash.

"Mara you... you... little hellion!" A frayed Urd raced out in full battle gear. Looking around and realizing her prey had escaped, she stormed back into the shop.

In the shop, it was a shambles. The computers were destroyed, potions broken and spilling onto the floor, walls missing between the shop and living areas.

Hotaru rushed up to Urd and checked for injuries, "Are you ok? Who was that lady?"

"Ya, I'm ok. That was Mara. She somehow found out about my assignment and came for a visit. I wasn't expecting her and hadn't warded the place for a demoness yet." Turning to Ranko, "Sorry, she took the body."

Ranko was examining one of the puddles of mixed potions. "Na, no worry. What can she possibly do with that old thing anyhow? Not like I had a use for it."

"Well, for one. She'll probably turn it into an undead minion and have a demon possess it. She can also cross dimensions too, so she may pay a visit to a few old friends of yours."

This got Ranko's attention. "How long do you think we have?"

"For something that complex... may be less than a year."

Turning to Hotaru, who was totally baffled by the conversation. "I think it is time to step up the training. We'll throw in a few Amazon techniques as well."

**------------------------**

It was the last day of school before summer break. Six months had passed since Hotaru's training had entered overdrive. Up until this point, the art was centered only on building the heir's physical and mental capabilities. Fortunately her sailor abilities increased her healing even in an untransformed state, so the training could be pushed to the limit. Urd contributed energy drink potions.

Hotaru still was not aware of Ranko's real identity as the perverted old man that kidnapped her. They were best of friends despite the taxing training. Both knew it was for the best and the results were real. No longer tired from running for miles, lifting up heavier objects such as a box of books was easy... or for that matter a few cinder blocks with one hand. It seemed as her body improved, it just seemed to grow stronger faster. Ranko wrote it off as a perk of being a sailor scout and the hidden potential that was seen.

Rarely had she trained in her sailor persona with the grandmaster. Ranko said they needed to get the basics down first before moving to the advanced training of Anything Goes and adapting everything and anything into the style. Especially when they realized training her civilian body improved Saturn's strength, speed and endurance. Magical abilities stayed the same, but being the senshi of Saturn she was already a powerhouse, all that would be needed be to find ways to -lessen- the power behind the magical attacks.

Ranko was also training. The robot body that Happosai called home had no ability to manipulate. Mediations had helped immensely with sensing using her spirit energy directly, which has also come in handy with training Hotoru in special techniques. As for special attacks there were only the ones that could be accomplished without the use of ki such as some pressure points or those involving speed, strength or physical technique. Urd promised to look into some possible spells that might help, and ask a little sister that was handy with machines. The melding of magic with Yggdrasil, Earth's technology, and what was left of Happosai's brain housed in the robot shell would not be easy but still held promise.

Being the last day of the school year, today was the combined football and baseball team dodgeball challenge versus Hotaru. Naturally, she was nervous, but not nearly as much as before the special training for this event that started a month ago. Ranko had rigged up a contraption with Urd's help that sent various fruit flying at high speed. At the end of the training, multiple machines were rapid firing oranges with some being caught and sent back. Being pelted with high speed grapefruits left her bruised for a while, but her body toughened up to the abuse.

Students filed into the gym and lined the out of bound lines. In the center of the gym was a nicely stacked pile of foam balls, resembling cannonballs ready for war. On one end of the gym floor the two mens teams filed in, each with a smirk on their faces, their body language all giving the message of confidence. The two team captains were at the forefront and chatting about the match.

"So, how long do you think the pipsqueek will last? 30 seconds?"

"Ha! You gotta be kidding me man, that long? I bet she'll be cowering in the back till she's hammered by the initial slavo. Only question is how many of your team will miss."

"Miss?! The baseball team are specialists at this. The football team though are just about brute strength and aside from your quarterback couldn't throw."

Ranko had snuck up behind them at this point, "Hello boys. Ready for an embarrasing loss?"

Both captains whipped around in surprise to face the smirking grandmaster. Over the six months of school, Ranko had become to be known as a mysterious terror. In the martial arts classes she taught, she was especially terrorfying to the men - but creepy nice to the women.

The football captain recomposed himself, "Heh, ya, I'm ready for your boasting about your 'student' to end after her embarrassing loss. Hotaru is a nice girl, but anything to put you back in your place after defeating the vice principal is a chance I'll gladly take."

"We'll see! Do your best!" Ranko waved and waltzed over to the other side of the gym where Hotaru was waiting by her lonesome. She was clearly nervous with all the attention being given, and scowls the other team's girlfriends were giving her.

Ranko patted Hotaru on the back, "Don't sweat it kid! Just rely on your training and remember, anything goes! I'm not much for pep talk, so I'll just leave it at that!"

A small smile appeared, "Thanks Ranko. I won't let you down."

The men and women gym teachers were the judges for the event and stood at the dividing line. The readied, and prepared to make the mad initial dash for the balls in the middle. As the judges raised their hands, muscles tensed, Hotaru's smiled changed to a frown in concentration, the team captains showed a large predetory smiles.... "GO!"

Everyone rushed forward, making the dash for the middle - except Hotaru.

"What are you doing Hotaru?! Go for it!" Ranko called from the sidelines.

Nervousness had gripped her at the last second, making her hesitate. By now it was too late to reach the dodge balls before the opposing team. Shaking herself out of her nervousness, she whispered, "Ok, this is what you've trained for. These aren't youma." With that, she took an anything goes martial arts stance.

A yell of "Hailmary!" signaled the first incoming from the quarterback. Expecting it to be over with this first shot, everyone else that had a ball stood there waiting for it to hit.

Compared to the high speed fruit, this was slow. And surprisingly easy for Hotaru to catch - and spin around to keep the ball's momentum up and hurl it back at a greater speed!

The quarterback wasn't in a good form to catch incoming balls - his throwing arm was still extended. The ball blurred through the air and caught him squarely in the chest, bounced off and rolled harmlessly back toward Hotaru's end of the court. The impact didn't knock him over, but did send him stumbling a step back with a shocked, wide eyed look of surprise.

The women's gym teacher coach yelled, "You're out!"

Reality sunk in and the quarterback went off the court in defeat. The rest of the men's teams then realized it was now a bit more serious. "Get her!"

A slavo of balls rained in. Training kicking in, Hotaru jumped to the side out of the path of most of the balls. They harmlessly hit the back wall and started to roll back.

Picking up two, she stood in a stance. "I'm ready!"

The balls were picked up as they crossed the median. "She can't dodge em forever guys! Let her have it!" Another slavo streaked in, this time with more gusto.

"Anything goes return to sender!"

Ranko smiled at the attack call. While a lesser powered version of what she pulled off at the beginning of the year, it was still very effective against two or three objects. "Hmm, I wonder if she can adapt it to magic attacks with her senshi powers..."

The other side of the court had a different reaction to the attack name being called out - they all dived for cover. For the two guys that were the original throwers of the balls in Hotaru's hands though, they weren't fast enough and it still hit them in the legs as they dived.

As her feet touched down, she was slightly winded, but stood up and listened to the thump of balls hitting the wall behind her. As two started to roll back past her off the rebound, she leaned down and grabbed them. She let the rest of the balls roll forward where they were picked up by the rest of the opposing team.

--- FLASHBACK ---

Ranko instructed Hotaru on the technique at the beginning of the fruit training, "Now don't be afraid to let the opposing team reload. The key to the technique is to utilize incoming fire, its momentum and direction against the opponent. There is no need to aim - the flow of grabbing and firing the object back will do the aiming for you."

Hotaru was soaking it up like a spong. "This is great teacher! There is no way to counter a technique like this."

"Actually, there is one way. And I'm almost certain your opponents will use it against you. I'll leave it up to you though to discover how to counteract that when you are faced with it."

--- END FLASHBACK ---

Ranko crossed her arms and smirked, "Now to see if they figure it out, she will need to learn to adapt on her own to truely be a heir."

"All right guys! Let her have it! She can't possibly dodge or catch em all!"

The storm began - the most furious game of dodge ball the school had ever had. Without fail, Hotaru was able to dodge the balls and hit each of her targets - except one. In the end, it was down to her, and the baseball team star pitcher.

"The wind up, and the pitch!" and the ball screamed in.

Hotaru was very winded by this point, but she was confident in finishing up the match now. She started the rotation, and hit the ball squarely as the technique needed.... and completely missed! The ball arced harmlessly away from the pitcher. Silence dominated the gym.

"Ah ha! So that's it! You can't deflect back my curve balls. You're going down, and you look out of wind to launch a real counter attack."

Hotaru's eyes grew wide in realization. Ranko nodded knowingly and was curious to how she would respond to the change of battle tactics.

Over the next few minutes, it was a frustrating game of balls being thrown at Hotaru and the balls being launched harmlessly back in various directions. As it wore on, Hotaru became a bit winded (and dizzy after all the spinning), and stumbled a few feet toward her opponent. Regaining her stance at the new position, she spun again as a ball was incoming - and this time it was much closer than before! The pitcher narrowly missed having his arm clipped by the high speed ball.

"You were lucky there. Next time, I'll catch it!"

Hotaru touched down lightly and wondered just what went on. All that changed was the distance... "That's it! Here I come!"

Putting a final burst of speed incoming, she started her spin. The pitcher launched his curve ball once more. As before, the ball was deflected back - but now with the closed distance it was much closer than before, and likely to hit since the curve ball wasn't able to diverge enough in such a short span! Reflexes kicking in, the pitcher knew he wouldn't be able to dodge in time and decided to catch it.

"You're mine!"

As the curve ball arced in, it revealed one last surprise! Hotaru had used the balls in her hands used during the return to sender technique in a last ditch attempt also as ammo, with both balls in perfect alignment behind the deflected ball. He did catch the deflected ball, but the velocity of the two followups impacting jarred it out of his hand and knocked him on his back. The match was over.

"Hotaru wins!" Both coaches declared.

Ranko rushed in and gave Hotaru a bear hug, lifting her into the air. "You won! I knew you could do it!"

The baseball and football team captains walked up. "Hey!"

Ranko put Hotaru down and eyed the two, expecting trouble. Instead both captains bowed respectfully to Hotaru, who shook off her shock and bowed back. The football captain spoke, "That was a good challenge. Never expected you to actually pull it off. Looks like me and the guys could use some training."

Hotaru's timidness had the best of her, "Uh, thanks. It was fun." She studied her feet.

As the gym and competitors were leaving, the team captains waved at her, "Anyhow, laters. We'll need a rematch sometime!"

**------------------------**


End file.
